¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Why do some people collect things? Explain.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2023-02-07 765

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

First, people collect things to remind themselves of something, such as a trip, a family event, or important times. In my case, I have bought books relating to places, or buildings that I visited for some reason. Second, people collect things for personal accomplishments. For instance, one of my acquaintances collects fridge magnets of his visiting places or buildings and put them on the iron-made world map to point out what countries he visited. The world map also works as a good decoration in the living room. Lastly, people collect things to hand over to their close people like their children or friends. My parents collected commemorative coins for the Olympic game held in Korea because they believed their special coins would become more valuable than their original value someday. They are going to hand over the coins to their sons or grandchildren to help them financially.
What makes you collect things? Just begin to collect something from today. You can be inspired by it.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Steve!
Thank you for your composition today.
Take note of the corrections below.
I hope you learn from them and apply them in your daily studies.^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
First, people collect things to remind themselves of something, such as a trip, a family event, or important times. 
>> Correct
In my case, I have bought books relating to places, or buildings that I visited for some reason. 
>> Correct
Second, people collect things for personal accomplishments. 
>> Correct
For instance, one of my acquaintances collects fridge magnets of his visiting places or buildings and put them on the iron-made world map to point out what countries he visited. 
>> For instance, one of my acquaintances collects fridge magnets from places or buildings he visited and put them on an iron-made world map to point out what countries he visited. 
The world map also works as a good decoration in the living room. 
>> Correct
Lastly, people collect things to hand over to their close people like their children or friends. 
>> Lastly, people collect things to hand over to people close to them like their children or friends. 
My parents collected commemorative coins for the Olympic game held in Korea because they believed their special coins would become more valuable than their original value someday. 
>> Correct
They are going to hand over the coins to their sons or grandchildren to help them financially.
>> Correct
What makes you collect things? 
>> Correct
Just begin to collect something from today. 
>> Correct
You can be inspired by it.
>> Correct
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
127518 Weekend ±Ç*ÀÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-17 6
127517 14.Apr.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-17 2
127516 When in Rome ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-17 835
127515 Please use the word in a sentence:1.New year ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-17 0
127514 HOMEWORK FOR 04/14 Á¶*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-16 1
127513 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-04-16 0
127512 I think we don\'t have to put them in the jail À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-04-16 902
127511 Writing task ¾È*Çü ¿Ï·á 2023-04-16 1203
127510 Homework ÇÏ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-04-16 1
127509 Homework for 04/14 ¹æ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-16 4
127508 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-04-16 0
127507 What is the necessity of resting? ±¸*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-04-16 1
127506 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-16 3
127505 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-16 2
127504 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-16 3
127503 Answer about Closest Friend ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-04-16 5
127502 Traveling ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-16 1
127501 I can say that smartphone is necessary item in nowadays. ÀÌ*¿õ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-16 1
127500 what would you do if you have 3 days of weekend ¹®*¿í ¿Ï·á 2023-04-16 1102
127499 How often do you go to a café? What do you usually buy? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-16 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04