¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2023-02-02 578

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hello.
As you can expected, I had a hectic day.
I taught Dr. Bae all day as if mother did that to her baby.
He was so enthusiastic, thus I couldn't stand but explain to him with my best.
During the work time, I could talk with him for a long time, and I realized that he is a real good man.
He was polite, gentle, and kind.
He appreciated me many times.
So, how could I teach him without my best?
He learned many know-how from me.
After my work, I was totally exhausted.
And then, as soon as I came home, I longed for my whiskey.
Hence, I drank a three glasses of whiskey.
In fact, I wanted more, though.
Because I should work tomorrow with my best condition, I endured it.
About my homework, I like my personality basically.
I think I sometimes shared other's emotion too much.
Dr. MJ don't understand me about it, and he even think that it is bad to empathize other's emotion too much.
But, I like to share people's mind and emotion.
And sometime it make me think that I am a human.
See you soon.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good moring, Dr. Kim!

Hectic days are a gift. They make you stronger, better in your professioin, and richer in experince. Dr. Bae is lucky to learn from you. You are both kind doctors. This characted of beiing kind makes you empathize to your patients well and it makes them feel comfortable and safe when they get their treatments from you. 

Meanwhile, whisky has been your evening bestfriend. Always take it in with some food in your stomach. Just like yesterday, you apoke much in class with candidness, sympathy and empathy, and vivid descriptions. I like these most about your speech. Here n your writing, it is pretty much the same. 

Now, some are sympathetic or empathetic. Others have less of these. So, I think that you and Dr. M.J. are the opposite kinds. You balance each other's energies well and this is good in business. 

Go over my suggestions below in some of your sentences. Your consistency is very high and you always incorporate my suggestions to your speech and writing. With these, excellent job once again!

Have a wonderful day!

-T. Donna~

Hello.
>> Correct!

As you can expected, I had a hectic day.
>> As  expected, I had a hectic day.
Or: As I expected, it was a hectic day.

I taught Dr. Bae all day as if mother did that to her baby.
>>  I taught Dr. Bae all day as if a mother did that to her baby.

He was so enthusiastic, thus I couldn't stand but explain to him with my best.
>> Correct!

During the work time, I could talk with him for a long time, and I realized that he is a real good man.
>> Correct!

He was polite, gentle, and kind.
>> Correct!

He appreciated me many times.
>> Correct!

So, how could I teach him without my best?
>> Correct!

He learned many know-how from me.
>> Correct!

After my work, I was totally exhausted.
>> Correct!

And then, as soon as I came home, I longed for my whiskey.
>> Correct!

Hence, I drank a three glasses of whiskey.
>> Hence, I drank three glasses of whiskey.

In fact, I wanted more, though.
>> Correct!

Because I should work tomorrow with my best condition, I endured it.
>> Correct!

About my homework, I like my personality basically.
>> Correct!

I think I sometimes shared other's emotion too much.
>> Correct!

Dr. MJ don't understand me about it, and he even think that it is bad to empathize other's emotion too much.
>> Dr. MJ doesn't understand  it, and he even thinks that it is bad to empathize to other's emotion too much.

But, I like to share people's mind and emotion.
>> Correct!

And sometime it make me think that I am a human.
>> And sometimes, it makes me think that I am human.

See you soon.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
124863 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 616
124862 Where would you like to go on vacation? Why? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 572
124861 What is the greatest challenge you have faced this month? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 679
124860 Answer : What was a good decision you made in the past? Á¤*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 641
124859 What is the impact of movies in our life? ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 447
124858 Life without music¡¦ ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 405
124857 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 0
124856 Can you tell me about a strange dream you had? ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 0
124855 How much do you value your time? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 523
124854 Can you talk about three things you want to do this year? ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 3
124853 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 465
124852 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 3
124851 What is something that you do that wastes so much of your time?... ¼Û*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 3
124850 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 0
124849 What is your opinion about the growing number of lonely deaths... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 517
124848 The perspective of tatoo ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 0
124847 Avatar : The way of water ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 623
124846 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 556
124845 Myhomework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 406
124844 Whose presence do you always enjoy being with? Àå*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 624

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04