¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2023-02-02 676

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hello.
As you can expected, I had a hectic day.
I taught Dr. Bae all day as if mother did that to her baby.
He was so enthusiastic, thus I couldn't stand but explain to him with my best.
During the work time, I could talk with him for a long time, and I realized that he is a real good man.
He was polite, gentle, and kind.
He appreciated me many times.
So, how could I teach him without my best?
He learned many know-how from me.
After my work, I was totally exhausted.
And then, as soon as I came home, I longed for my whiskey.
Hence, I drank a three glasses of whiskey.
In fact, I wanted more, though.
Because I should work tomorrow with my best condition, I endured it.
About my homework, I like my personality basically.
I think I sometimes shared other's emotion too much.
Dr. MJ don't understand me about it, and he even think that it is bad to empathize other's emotion too much.
But, I like to share people's mind and emotion.
And sometime it make me think that I am a human.
See you soon.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good moring, Dr. Kim!

Hectic days are a gift. They make you stronger, better in your professioin, and richer in experince. Dr. Bae is lucky to learn from you. You are both kind doctors. This characted of beiing kind makes you empathize to your patients well and it makes them feel comfortable and safe when they get their treatments from you. 

Meanwhile, whisky has been your evening bestfriend. Always take it in with some food in your stomach. Just like yesterday, you apoke much in class with candidness, sympathy and empathy, and vivid descriptions. I like these most about your speech. Here n your writing, it is pretty much the same. 

Now, some are sympathetic or empathetic. Others have less of these. So, I think that you and Dr. M.J. are the opposite kinds. You balance each other's energies well and this is good in business. 

Go over my suggestions below in some of your sentences. Your consistency is very high and you always incorporate my suggestions to your speech and writing. With these, excellent job once again!

Have a wonderful day!

-T. Donna~

Hello.
>> Correct!

As you can expected, I had a hectic day.
>> As  expected, I had a hectic day.
Or: As I expected, it was a hectic day.

I taught Dr. Bae all day as if mother did that to her baby.
>>  I taught Dr. Bae all day as if a mother did that to her baby.

He was so enthusiastic, thus I couldn't stand but explain to him with my best.
>> Correct!

During the work time, I could talk with him for a long time, and I realized that he is a real good man.
>> Correct!

He was polite, gentle, and kind.
>> Correct!

He appreciated me many times.
>> Correct!

So, how could I teach him without my best?
>> Correct!

He learned many know-how from me.
>> Correct!

After my work, I was totally exhausted.
>> Correct!

And then, as soon as I came home, I longed for my whiskey.
>> Correct!

Hence, I drank a three glasses of whiskey.
>> Hence, I drank three glasses of whiskey.

In fact, I wanted more, though.
>> Correct!

Because I should work tomorrow with my best condition, I endured it.
>> Correct!

About my homework, I like my personality basically.
>> Correct!

I think I sometimes shared other's emotion too much.
>> Correct!

Dr. MJ don't understand me about it, and he even think that it is bad to empathize other's emotion too much.
>> Dr. MJ doesn't understand  it, and he even thinks that it is bad to empathize to other's emotion too much.

But, I like to share people's mind and emotion.
>> Correct!

And sometime it make me think that I am a human.
>> And sometimes, it makes me think that I am human.

See you soon.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
126494 Writing task ¾È*Çü ¿Ï·á 2023-03-14 730
126493 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-03-14 0
126492 Comedian ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-14 1
126491 3.14ÀÏ ¼÷Á¦ ¹Ú*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-14 8
126490 What are some things you are afraid of? ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-14 3
126489 Are there any beautiful mountains in your country? ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-14 2
126488 3/13 ¼­*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-14 0
126487 homework ½Å*ÈÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-14 2098
126486 3.14 homework ±Ç*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-03-14 807
126485 Have you ever thought of becoming an English teacher in your... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-14 830
126484 Homework ¹è*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-03-14 649
126483 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-14 1
126482 Which country\'s food do you like the most? Why? Àå*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-03-14 814
126481 Tie the knot ±Ç*ÀÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-14 3
126480 I think I¡¯m rich ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-03-14 670
126479 What\'s the nicest gift you have received from your friends? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-14 0
126478 3/10 homework °­*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-14 0
126477 Is there anything you dislike about weekends? Áö* ¿Ï·á 2023-03-14 1
126476 What do you enjoy the most at school? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-03-14 3
126475 Peace of world Á¶*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-13 725

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04