¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Gathering you last attended.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¼ø
2023-01-31 540

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hello ~ Teacher,

Thank teacher for your advice.
So, I asked power English Korea office.
I know when I used writing site.
Sorry, I'm old women and not good idea.

I visited church after a long time. Because COVID19.
How about teacher country?

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening, Jini! ^^,)

Thank you for this composition.
I thoroughly read it and made some corrections.

Most restrictions here in my country have already been lifted. People can go to church, the mall, the park, and other establishments with minimal COVID-19 guidelines.

I will talk to you again on Thursday. Have a good night!

__T. Mayleen :)


Hello ~ Teacher,
>>> Hello, Teacher!

Thank teacher for your advice.
>>> Teacher, thank you for your advice.
So, I asked power English Korea office.

I know when I used writing site.
>>> I called the Korean office, and now I know where to submit my composition on the website.
Sorry, I'm old women and not good idea.
>>> I'm sorry that I already old to know things like this.

I visited church after a long time. Because COVID19.
>>> I visited the church after a long time that I wasn't able to because of COVID-19.
>>> OR: I finally went to the church after a long absence due to COVID-19.
How about teacher country?
>>> How is the situation in your country, teacher?
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
124958 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-01-18 1
124957 homework ½Å*ÈÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-18 389
124956 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-01-18 0
124955 Galbijjim ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2023-01-18 1
124954 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-18 1
124953 1/18 °í*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-01-18 5
124952 17.Jan.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-18 1
124951 What do people in your family do on New Year¡¯s Day? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-18 0
124950 How do you choose where to go? Are you inspired by other... ¾ç*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-01-17 1
124949 I disagree that Many customs and traditional ways of behavior... ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-17 521
124948 my favorite traveling transportation. ¹Ú*º° ¿Ï·á 2023-01-17 620
124947 What does a healthy diet look like to you? ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-01-17 592
124946 How does your heart feel right now? ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-01-17 2
124945 Do you think you are strong enough to attend the same church on... ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-01-17 2
124944 Sharing my problem. ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-01-17 632
124943 What will you do if you knew that the bassist is dating someone? ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-01-17 2
124942 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-17 0
124941 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-17 422
124940 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-17 359
124939 Why cash is still important ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-17 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04