¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Women should go to military.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¼­
2023-01-30 2132

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

South Korea is still in the war. North Korea has so powerful weapon. As military is shrinking we have to pay more to USA military. And that coast a lot. So i think it's so much better that women go to the military like men. But it will be difficult to replace the military space.
New training places, bathrooms, bedrooms..... It will coast a lot either. Also their going to have problem between men and women. Such as arguments about women's training level, sexual assault, sexual harassment. So if we're going to let women to go military, than we have to prepare a lot.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Sophia! I can't imagine you wearing a military uniform fighting against North Korea. Well, anyway with the population you have now, there maybe possibilities that you ladies would also be joining the military someday. I just hope the majority will be positive on that. Hahaha!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
South Korea is still in the war. 
>>> South Korea is still in war. 
North Korea has so powerful weapon.
>>> CORRECT
 As military is shrinking we have to pay more to the USA military. 
>>> CORRECT
And that coast a lot. 
>>> And that costs a lot. 
So, I think it's so much better that women go to the military like men. 
>>> CORRECT
But it will be difficult to replace the military space.
>>> CORRECT
New training places, bathrooms, bedrooms It will coast a lot either.
>>> New training places, bathrooms, bedrooms - they  will cost a lot either.
 Also their going to have problem between men and women. 
>>>  Moreover, they're going to have problems between men and women. 
Such as arguments about women's training level, sexual assault, sexual harassment. 
>>> CORRECT
So if we're going to let women to go military, than we have to prepare a lot.
>>> So if we're going to let the women go to the military, then we have to prepare a lot.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
126000 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-26 984
125999 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-26 596
125998 [Writing Task] What things do you always need to bring when you... ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-25 1
125997 i had some bed storys:) À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-02-25 5
125996 Have you ever been in a difficult situation while traveling? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-02-25 417
125995 Can you talk about three things you like about yourself? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-02-25 699
125994 homework02.25 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-02-25 606
125993 How do koreans celebrate happy events? ±¸*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-24 5
125992 my puppy is cookie ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-24 1878
125991 A good mother. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-02-24 570
125990 Kingking ÃÖ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-02-24 3
125989 Courteous ÃÖ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-24 766
125988 home work 2/23 ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-24 547
125987 What name would you give your robot if you had one? Why? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-24 573
125986 Describe a time you made an unpopular decision. How did you... ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-02-24 573
125985 Write a situation you know of or experienced that applies a... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-02-24 2
125984 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-24 933
125983 homework ½Å*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-02-24 2
125982 season ¹Ú*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-24 543
125981 Is it important to know a country\'s culture when you would go... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-24 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04