¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think people should have plastic surgery to enhance their looks?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2023-01-27 510

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I want to answer the question by being more focused on women's plastic surgery.

Before answering the question, I have a question; why do people want to enhance their looks? I think people want to be more attractive to others or to appeal to others. I believe women can be attractive in many ways such as physically, mentally, or even spiritually. As the old saying goes, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. So if you have a prejudice that men only like women with good looks, please reset your perspective on attractiveness. Speaking of attractiveness, what is attractiveness? I want to refer to attractiveness as something needed for a good relationship between people, particularly between men and women. I remember that one expert on TV about human relationships advised the audience to seek a partner who speaks the same language rather than one with just a nice figure or gorgeous face if they want to live happily with their partners. I agree with that. I think beauty is only skin deep.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Wonderful composition, Steve! It's a nicely written essay on the subject. Women, in particular, are expected to contort to society's standard of beauty. I commend you for narrowing your statement from beauty in women all the way to the core definition of beauty itself. Asking a question back, or starting your essay with a question, is a clever way of drawing your readers' attention. :) 
~T.Harmony <3

I want to answer the question by being more focused on women's plastic surgery.
>>CORRECT!

Before answering the question, I have a question; why do people want to enhance their looks?
>>CORRECT!
I think people want to be more attractive to others or to appeal to others.
>>CORRECT!
I believe women can be attractive in many ways such as physically, mentally, or even spiritually.
>>CORRECT!
As the old saying goes, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. 
>>CORRECT!
So if you have a prejudice that men only like women with good looks, please reset your perspective on attractiveness. 
>>CORRECT!
Speaking of attractiveness, what is attractiveness?
>>CORRECT!
I want to refer to attractiveness as something needed for a good relationship between people, particularly between men and women.
>>CORRECT!
I remember that one expert on TV about human relationships advised the audience to seek a partner who speaks the same language rather than one with just a nice figure or gorgeous face if they want to live happily with their partners.
>> I remember that one expert on TV about human relationships, who advised the audience...
I agree with that.
>>CORRECT!
I think beauty is only skin deep.
>>CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
124866 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 2069
124865 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 543
124864 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 588
124863 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 618
124862 Where would you like to go on vacation? Why? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 572
124861 What is the greatest challenge you have faced this month? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 682
124860 Answer : What was a good decision you made in the past? Á¤*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 644
124859 What is the impact of movies in our life? ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 451
124858 Life without music¡¦ ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 407
124857 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 0
124856 Can you tell me about a strange dream you had? ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 0
124855 How much do you value your time? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 526
124854 Can you talk about three things you want to do this year? ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 3
124853 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 468
124852 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 3
124851 What is something that you do that wastes so much of your time?... ¼Û*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 3
124850 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 0
124849 What is your opinion about the growing number of lonely deaths... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 518
124848 The perspective of tatoo ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 0
124847 Avatar : The way of water ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 626

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04