¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What is your feeling about mandatory military service in your country? Do you think that your countr

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2023-01-27 634

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

All people say with one voice that we'd better not to go to the army if it is possible. All men who have don't have health problem must serve as a soldier in Korea. It is one of the major obligations people should follow. I went to the army when I was 20 years old as a military police. I had a lot of hard time due to the crazy culture that juniors had to run all the time, respect to seniors with weird way and do all the stuffs. It considered as a normal practice that seniors beat and threaten juniors. Although, soldier spent hard time to get millitary trainning, they couldn't take a rest very well because they needed to stay in same building there, they were not allowed to go home after work. It is a main problem of the military service. However, there is advantage from the military. Most people look back upon their past and then they decided to change their lifestyle in a good way. So many people believe that military service provide the incredible experience that might help peol

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Sir Hwang!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

All people say with one voice that we'd better not to go to the army if it is possible. 
>> CORRECT! 
All men who have don't have health problem must serve as a soldier in Korea. 
>> All men who don't have health problems must serve as a soldier in Korea. 
OR >>  All men who don't have medical concerns must serve as a soldier in Korea.
It is one of the major obligations people should follow. 
>> CORRECT! 
I went to the army when I was 20 years old as a military police. 
>> CORRECT! 
OR >> I went to the army when I was 20 years old as a soldier. 
I had a lot of hard time due to the crazy culture that juniors had to run all the time, respect to seniors with weird way and do all the stuffs. 
>> I had a lot of hard time due to the crazy culture that juniors had to run all the time, respect seniors ina weird way, and do all the stuffs. 
It considered as a normal practice that seniors beat and threaten juniors. 
>> CORRECT! 
Although, soldier spent hard time to get millitary trainning, they couldn't take a rest very well because they needed to stay in same building there, they were not allowed to go home after work. 
>> Although soldiers spent hard time to go to the military training, they couldn't take a rest very well because they needed to stay in same building, they were not allowed to go home after work. 
It is a main problem of the military service. 
>> It is the main problem of the military service. 
However, there is advantage from the military. 
>> However, there is an advantage from the military. 
Most people look back upon their past and then they decided to change their lifestyle in a good way. 
>> Most people look back upon their past and then they decide to change their lifestyle in a good way. 
So many people believe that military service provide the incredible experience that might help peol
>>  So many people believe that military service provides the incredible experience that might help people change for the better.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
126021 homework ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-27 580
126020 homework ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-27 531
126019 homework ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-27 552
126018 homework ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-27 574
126017 Young people these days, do not enjoy family gatherings. What do... Àå*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-02-27 733
126016 I sometimes make food. ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-27 72
126015 Homework ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-27 0
126014 [Writing Task] What is the difference between studying at the... ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-27 1
126013 How to cook your own fascinating food ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-02-27 632
126012 Go back ±Ç*ÀÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-27 4
126011 Describe your dream dog in one sentence. ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-27 0
126010 Sunday, February 24th, 2022 ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-27 2
126009 What are the other benefits of learning another language at this... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-02-27 2
126008 The major change in my life. ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-02-27 629
126007 The one thing I want to change ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-26 715
126006 Do you think animal testing should be banned? Why or why not? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-26 681
126005 Describe the biggest surprise you have ever had in your life. ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-26 795
126004 Do you really need to have a college education to be successful?... ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-26 617
126003 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-26 675
126002 Who do you think is responsible for lost parcels? The... ¾ç*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-02-26 590

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04