¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

I think

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*¿ì
2023-01-17 738

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think people's eating habit affect their lifespan. Some people eat unhealthy food. For example, there are marshmallows, candies, chocolate, and snacks. Those food make us unhealthy. If we eat thosefood, we can get diseases such as diabetes. So, we should eat healthy food as much as possible

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Seon U!
Thank you for always doing your homework! I completely agree with you; our eating habits have an impact on our lives. There's a saying: 'We are what we eat'.  What we eat reveals how we care for ourselves.
Anyway, you did an amazing job today. See you tomorrow~  
-T.Jhozel ^^

I think people's eating habit affect their lifespan.
>> Correct!
>> OR: 
I believe that a person's diet has an impact on their lifespan.
Some people eat unhealthy food. For example, there are marshmallows, candies, chocolate, and snacks. 
>> Some people consume unhealthy foods, such as marshmallows, candies, chocolate, and snacks.
Those food make us unhealthy. If we eat thosefood, we can get diseases such as diabetes. 
>> These foods make us unhealthy. If we consume those foods, we may develop diseases such as diabetes.
So, we should eat healthy food as much as possible 
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
124281 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-12-19 499
124280 HOMEWORK: Do you think language affects thought? Discuss in 3 to... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2022-12-19 4
124279 Homework (12/19) ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-19 1
124278 Should religions be exempt from paying taxes? Do you think it is... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-19 701
124277 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-12-19 0
124276 staff ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2022-12-19 1
124275 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-12-19 2
124274 What is the longest time you have been away from home? Did you... ±è*¹® ¿Ï·á 2022-12-19 734
124273 Do you sympathize or empathize with others\' feelings most of... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-12-19 0
124272 What advantages are there for a woman who stays at home when her... ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-19 620
124271 Should students get limited access to the Internet? Why or why... ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-19 673
124270 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-19 621
124269 The movie ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-19 1
124268 bears ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-19 640
124267 My opinions about some gifts ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-12-19 572
124266 Which time of day do you feel most productive in your work? Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-19 580
124265 Home work ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-12-19 569
124264 My normal and ideal weekends ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-19 0
124263 What can you do now to be successful in the future? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-19 0
124262 09.Dec .2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-19 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04