¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

1/13 homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*Çö
2023-01-15 601

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I have never lived far away from my family.
It's just several times to stay away from my family when I went to travel abroad.
So, I haven't experienced how I feel if I couldn`t see my family easily.
Although I don't live with my family now, I always feel comfortable because I can meet my family anytime if I want.
However, if I live far from my family and I couldn`t meet them conveniently, I feel lonely.
Also, I couldn't help them easily and on the contrary they couldn't help me directly.
I'm very grateful for I live and work nearby my family's house.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Dr. Stella!

Being a million miles away from our family can be challenging since we can only have ourselves to count on and we have to stay independent. Well, if you will be away from your family, I think you will be just fine because you are a very strong and independent lady.

Kindly go over my suggestions below that include the correct order or words (syntax) as well as placing a pronoun to avoid being redundant in one sentence. Overall, you made an excellent piece of writing, great job!

-T. Donna~

I have never lived far away from my family.

>> Correct!

It's just several times to stay away from my family when I went to travel abroad.
>> Correct!
Or: 
I was just a few times to stay away from my family when I went to travel abroad.

So, I haven't experienced how I feel if I couldn`t see my family easily.
>> So, I haven't experienced  feeling that I couldn`t see my family easily.

Although I don't live with my family now, I always feel comfortable because I can meet my family anytime if I want.
>> Although I don't live with my family now, I always feel comfortable because I can meet them anytime I want.

However, if I live far from my family and I couldn`t meet them conveniently, I feel lonely.
>> Correct!

Also, I couldn't help them easily and on the contrary they couldn't help me directly.
>> Correct! 
Or: Also, I couldn't help them easily, and on the contrary, they couldn't help me directly.

I'm very grateful for I live and work nearby my family's house.
>> Correct!


¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
125621 Homework ¼Û*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 1
125620 What is your favorite all-time game? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 580
125619 Has China sent spy balloons to your country? Share your answer... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 3
125618 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 0
125617 Best memory in the sky ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 2
125616 Have gun at home is very dangerous. ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 542
125615 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 1
125614 WRITING TASK: Do you think the type of vacation one takes... ¹Ú*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 581
125613 moms ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 795
125612 Homework ¹è*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 528
125611 Which country would you NOT like to visit? Why? Àå*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 557
125610 My work environment ±Ç*ÀÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 2
125609 13.Feb.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 1
125608 1. land animals 2. rabbit ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 2
125607 homework ½Å*ÈÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 735
125606 if i can change my life À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 615
125605 What\'s your thought on companies having office uniforms? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-02-13 3
125604 Homework ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-02-13 1
125603 homework 02.13 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-02-13 747
125602 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-13 668

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04