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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Homework

작성자: 김*우
2023-01-12 497

회원님의 영작문

Hello.
After I checked my homework, I realized that I told you too many negative things these days.
As you know that, I faced a lot of obstacles, so I could not have told you about positive things.
However, there is always good things in spite of hard situation.
Today, I heard that my request to borrow money from bank was accepted.
Meanwhile, in my worktime, I met a foreigner who is an English teacher like you.
She is young and beautiful, and she want to be a model.
The purpose of visiting to our clinic was removal of her tatoo.
I didn't ask in detail, but, maybe her tatoo was not helpful to her dream.
Anyway, I greeted to her and explained about laser therapy, and then I did it.
Tatoo usually is located in the deep layer of dermis, so she needs more than 10 times treatments, and today was her 5th treatment, I guess.
Tatoo is not a good choice, I really think, because it's difficult to remove it clearly.
And there was another foreigner who spoke English well.
See you tomorrow.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good morning once again, Dr. Kim!

Even negative things can be a very rich source of your speech. I am glad though, that you chose to share these positive experiences of your patients who speak English during your clinic time yesterday. I find them very interesting. So today, they were our main discussions in class. 

Tattoo has been an ancient form of art for people to express themselves in various ways depending on the culture they practice and belong. In our place, men and women have tattoo alike from a long time ago and it has a different meaning way back then. It is a sign of of a high status in society. Nowadays, anyone can have one. It is such  a pity to have one only to erase it for work reasons or for any other reason.

In class, I was entertained and enggaged with your stories. You chose your descriptions very well as well as used technical terms about your profession to explain the skin condition of your patients. That was really awesome!

Then, below, read and analyze all the suggestions I mafe. Your sentences are longer, more meanigful, and your vocabulary has leveled up so well. Always keep up the good work!

See you next week!

-T. Donna~

Hello.
>> Correct!

After I checked my homework, I realized that I told you too many negative things these days.
>> Correct!

As you know that, I faced a lot of obstacles, so I could not have told you about positive things.
>> As you know, I faced a lot of obstacles, so I could not have told you about positive things.

However, there is always good things in spite of hard situation.
>> However, there are always good things in spite of hard situations.

Today, I heard that my request to borrow money from bank was accepted.
>> Correct!

Meanwhile, in my worktime, I met a foreigner who is an English teacher like you.
>> Correct!

She is young and beautiful, and she want to be a model.
>> She is young and beautiful, and she wants to be a model.

The purpose of visiting to our clinic was removal of her tatoo.
>> The purpose of visiting our clinic was the removal of her tattoo.

I didn't ask in detail, but, maybe her tatoo was not helpful to her dream.
>> Correct!
Or: tattoo

Anyway, I greeted to her and explained about laser therapy, and then I did it.
>> Correct!

Tatoo usually is located in the deep layer of dermis, so she needs more than 10 times treatments, and today was her 5th treatment, I guess.
>> Tatoo is usually located in the deep layer of the dermis, so she needs more than 10 times of treatments, and today was her 5th treatment, I guess.

Tatoo is not a good choice, I really think, because it's difficult to remove it clearly.
>> Correct!
Or: I think, Tattoo is not a good choice because it's difficult to remove it clearly.

And there was another foreigner who spoke English well.
>> Correct!

See you tomorrow
>> Correct!
Or: See you tomorrow.
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