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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Do you worry about your old age?

작성자: 선*
2023-01-12 677

회원님의 영작문

The question is one of the biggest worries at the present. That I grow old is like giving up dreams because I am getting cowardly. Though I think I am still young, I am not as brave as I used to be. Society is becoming super-aged, so people start to worry about how to deal with induced problems, such as pensions, welfare systems, and emotional stability. Why is the super-aged society a problem? The aged are people who make up society, People think of the elderly as corpses or incompetent, that is they are useless. They are members of society and economical people. That is what I am worrying about. I can do whatever I want in my old age, so society needs to give unlimited opportunities to the elderly. The elderly try to help society to operate well. However the elderly had worked hard, so we admit their effort in the past. The government supports the elderly because they are not strong enough to work as much as the youth. Let's prepare our super-aged society in advance,

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Sun Jung!
I agree with what you've mentioned. Most of the time, when we hear the word "elderly", we think of people who cannot work and those who need assistance in doing daily activities. So I understand your worry when it comes to getting old and also how society will react towards you by that time.
-T. Caitlyn
The question is one of the biggest worries at the present. 
>> CORRECT
That I grow old is like giving up dreams because I am getting cowardly. 
>> As I grow older, it's like giving up my dreams because I'm becoming a coward.
Though I think I am still young, I am not as brave as I used to be. 
>> CORRECT
Society is becoming super-aged, so people start to worry about how to deal with induced problems, such as pensions, welfare systems, and emotional stability. 
>> CORRECT
Why is the super-aged society a problem? 
>> CORRECT
The aged are people who make up society, People think of the elderly as corpses or incompetent, that is they are useless. 
>> The elderly people are the ones who make up society and people think of them as corpses, incompetent, and useless.
They are members of society and economical people. 
>> CORRECT
That is what I am worrying about.
>> CORRECT
 I can do whatever I want in my old age, so society needs to give unlimited opportunities to the elderly. 
>> CORRECT
The elderly try to help society to operate well. 
>> Elderlies are trying to help society to operate well.
However the elderly had worked hard, so we admit their effort in the past. 
>> CORRECT
The government supports the elderly because they are not strong enough to work as much as the youth. 
>> CORRECT
Let's prepare our super-aged society in advance,
>> Let's prepare for a super-aged society in advance.

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