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Homework

작성자: 김*우
2023-01-10 617

회원님의 영작문

Hi.
I was so busy today, so I am now totally exhausted.
As I said this morning, today was the salary day.
As we all know, salary is the most important thing in the work.
That's why I focused on the transfer of the salary.
And today was the deadline of some tax.
Because I didn't enough money in my account, I requested the credit card company to make more pay limit.
Fortunately, they accepted my request.
In addition, we had to choose the design of signboard during the worktime.
Also, we had a meeting with the interior team manager and furniture coordinators at lunch time.
Moreover, there was a man who complained about our service.
He got angry, so he cancelled his appointment of laser.
Thus, I called him and made him calm down.
After our worktime, we had a meeting with our managers after a long time.
Can you imagine how busy I was?
If I have around ten million dollars, I will be so happy, because it means the freedom from duty of work.
There are many things I want to do in the world.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello there!

I believe you when you say you are busy. I think you just do not know it, but you have become like me and Dr. MJ. ^^ However, this is the good kind of busy. Your energy is focused to solving problems, building roads to your goals, and seeing a clearer vision at the end of the day. This road is not easy and sometimes we can be very exhausted. Then, some people say, " I feel so weak.". For us, we say, "I feel weak, but I am strong.". Then, we pause to rest and move forward agin. I am sure you feel this way today. I believe that your blessing today is the credit card limit, lucky you!

I wonder why your patient complained about his laser treatment. It seems like you have already solved this issue. So, you have accomplished so much yesterday, congratulations. These things must make you feel 10,000,000 million dollars richer before you sleep. Anyway, for the rest of your sentences that I have not read, the things that we want to do in this world may be realized or not. Our time is limited and we need to be happy as a result of these choices.

Your sentences display accuracy, careful analysis and logical reasons, and excellent grammar mastery. Keep it up.

Be happy today!

-T. Donna~

Hi.
>> Correct!

I was so busy today, so I am now totally exhausted.
>> Correct!

As I said this morning, today was the salary day.
>> Correct!

As we all know, salary is the most important thing in the work.
>> As we all know, salary is the most important thing at work.

That's why I focused on the transfer of the salary.
>> Correct!

And today was the deadline of some tax.
>> Correct!

Because I didn't enough money in my account, I requested the credit card company to make more pay limit.
>> Because I didn't have enough money in my account, I requested the credit card company to make more pay limit.

Fortunately, they accepted my request.
>> Correct!

In addition, we had to choose the design of signboard during the worktime.
>> In addition, we had to choose the design of the signboard during worktime.

Also, we had a meeting with the interior team manager and furniture coordinators at lunch time.
>> Correct!

Moreover, there was a man who complained about our service.
>> Correct!

He got angry, so he cancelled his appointment of laser.
>> Correct!

Thus, I called him and made him calm down.
>> Correct!

After our worktime, we had a meeting with our managers after a long time.
>> Correct!

Can you imagine how busy I was?
>> Correct!

If I have around ten million dollars, I will be so happy, because it means the freedom from duty of work.
>> Correct!

There are many things I want to do in the world.
>> Correct!
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