¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2023-01-09 607

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hello, T.Donna.
How was your day?
I had a hectic day.
As I said, there were not many clients in the clinic these days.
However, today was so hectic, because there were many clients and procedures like laser, botox, lifting, and so on.
And, of course, our income today was very good.
As you know that, I was worried about money.
While my dept went up, my income went down lately.
Hence, today will be a memorable day.
Besides, I had a lot of paperwork, so I couldn't take a rest at all.
You know what?
It's alright for me to work harder.
I decided to focus on my work more this year.
That's because I want to feel free from bank depts.
If I could reduce my depts, that would be my success.
Although I am so tired now, I am going to do exercise.
I mean I will do home training.
Diet and exercise will make me healthier, and then, I can do my work harder, and finally, I will achieve my goal.
You accomplished to have a good house.
What's the next?
I hope you and I will succeed this year.
Catch you soo

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there, Dr. Kim!

My day went on smoothly yesterday. I did much but it was enough for me to get a good sleep and some nice evening shower. Overall, nowadays, I really appreciate ordinary and pleasant days. At least, your clinic matters were also manageable and smooth. I am happy to hear about the inflock of your clients. The more clients, the more stress, the bigger the income! That is a very good kind of stress. You can handle it with the help of your staff and of course, Dr. MJ. Smile more and more patients will walk in your door because they know that you care for them well.

Worrying about money sometimes is inevitable. However, worry destroys our confidence and eats up our happiness, so do not worry and just be happy about big or small victories daily. This way, more positive energies will come to you. Anyway, hometraining will level up your energy. This is a good move to keep you fit and even stronger. I suggest you do this in the evening before taking a shower.

Your composition is excellent. The only suggestions I made were correct spelling, and the correct prepostition. Carry on with your great skills in writing! See you on the next composition and in class!

-T. Donna~

Hello, T.Donna.
>> Correct!

How was your day?
>> Correct!

I had a hectic day.
>> Correct!

As I said, there were not many clients in the clinic these days.
>> Correct!

However, today was so hectic, because there were many clients and procedures like laser, botox, lifting, and so on.
>> Correct!

And, of course, our income today was very good.
>> Correct!

As you know that, I was worried about money.
>> As you know it, I was worried about money.

While my dept went up, my income went down lately.
>> Correct!
Or: debt

Hence, today will be a memorable day.
>> Correct!

Besides, I had a lot of paperwork, so I couldn't take a rest at all.
>> Correct!

You know what?
>> Correct!

It's alright for me to work harder.
>> Correct!

I decided to focus on my work more this year.
>> Correct!

That's because I want to feel free from bank depts.
>> Correct!
Or: debts

If I could reduce my depts, that would be my success.
>> Correct!
Or: debts

Although I am so tired now, I am going to do exercise.
>> Correct!
Or: Although I am so tired now, I will exercise.

I mean I will do home training.
>> Correct!

Diet and exercise will make me healthier, and then, I can do my work harder, and finally, I will achieve my goal.
>> Correct!

You accomplished to have a good house.
>> Correct!

What's the next?
>> Correct!

I hope you and I will succeed this year.
>> Correct!

Catch you soon.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
123671 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-11-18 2
123670 What are some of the most important customs of your country? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-18 1670
123669 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-18 1485
123668 What do you think is an appropriate punishment for... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-18 2440
123667 What are the classic video games that you grew up with? Can you... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-11-18 2090
123666 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-18 0
123665 The reason that we should choose friends wisely ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-18 0
123664 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-11-18 0
123663 What are three good things about America in your opinion? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-18 2263
123662 What is your opinion about the banning of standing passengers on... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-18 2096
123661 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-18 1748
123660 I think the appropriate punishment for cyber-bullying ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-11-18 2314
123659 Do you think donating blood should be well-paid or always be... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-18 2265
123658 What kind of food do you like? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-18 1539
123657 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-18 1
123656 BUS ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-18 1537
123655 the result should be used so that it is not mistaken for the... ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-18 2082
123654 What pleasant surprise did you notice today? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-18 0
123653 Why are there so many cafes in your country? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-11-18 0
123652 Do you think it¡¯s easy or difficult to find time to exercise... Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-11-17 2476

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04