¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2023-01-09 592

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hello, T.Donna.
How was your day?
I had a hectic day.
As I said, there were not many clients in the clinic these days.
However, today was so hectic, because there were many clients and procedures like laser, botox, lifting, and so on.
And, of course, our income today was very good.
As you know that, I was worried about money.
While my dept went up, my income went down lately.
Hence, today will be a memorable day.
Besides, I had a lot of paperwork, so I couldn't take a rest at all.
You know what?
It's alright for me to work harder.
I decided to focus on my work more this year.
That's because I want to feel free from bank depts.
If I could reduce my depts, that would be my success.
Although I am so tired now, I am going to do exercise.
I mean I will do home training.
Diet and exercise will make me healthier, and then, I can do my work harder, and finally, I will achieve my goal.
You accomplished to have a good house.
What's the next?
I hope you and I will succeed this year.
Catch you soo

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there, Dr. Kim!

My day went on smoothly yesterday. I did much but it was enough for me to get a good sleep and some nice evening shower. Overall, nowadays, I really appreciate ordinary and pleasant days. At least, your clinic matters were also manageable and smooth. I am happy to hear about the inflock of your clients. The more clients, the more stress, the bigger the income! That is a very good kind of stress. You can handle it with the help of your staff and of course, Dr. MJ. Smile more and more patients will walk in your door because they know that you care for them well.

Worrying about money sometimes is inevitable. However, worry destroys our confidence and eats up our happiness, so do not worry and just be happy about big or small victories daily. This way, more positive energies will come to you. Anyway, hometraining will level up your energy. This is a good move to keep you fit and even stronger. I suggest you do this in the evening before taking a shower.

Your composition is excellent. The only suggestions I made were correct spelling, and the correct prepostition. Carry on with your great skills in writing! See you on the next composition and in class!

-T. Donna~

Hello, T.Donna.
>> Correct!

How was your day?
>> Correct!

I had a hectic day.
>> Correct!

As I said, there were not many clients in the clinic these days.
>> Correct!

However, today was so hectic, because there were many clients and procedures like laser, botox, lifting, and so on.
>> Correct!

And, of course, our income today was very good.
>> Correct!

As you know that, I was worried about money.
>> As you know it, I was worried about money.

While my dept went up, my income went down lately.
>> Correct!
Or: debt

Hence, today will be a memorable day.
>> Correct!

Besides, I had a lot of paperwork, so I couldn't take a rest at all.
>> Correct!

You know what?
>> Correct!

It's alright for me to work harder.
>> Correct!

I decided to focus on my work more this year.
>> Correct!

That's because I want to feel free from bank depts.
>> Correct!
Or: debts

If I could reduce my depts, that would be my success.
>> Correct!
Or: debts

Although I am so tired now, I am going to do exercise.
>> Correct!
Or: Although I am so tired now, I will exercise.

I mean I will do home training.
>> Correct!

Diet and exercise will make me healthier, and then, I can do my work harder, and finally, I will achieve my goal.
>> Correct!

You accomplished to have a good house.
>> Correct!

What's the next?
>> Correct!

I hope you and I will succeed this year.
>> Correct!

Catch you soon.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
123889 Do you agree that Apple and Google should both be penalized due... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-30 1552
123888 29.11.Nov ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-30 9
123887 What is the best way to make new friends? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-30 0
123886 What was the most severe disease you ever had? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-11-30 1
123885 If you could have a conversation with any famous living person,... Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-11-30 1602
123884 If you were invited to a fancy dinner with the president, what... ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-11-30 7
123883 Why are some people not interested in sports? ¾ç*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-11-29 1421
123882 How can you make your free time more productive? Answer in a few... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-29 1443
123881 Make a story about two best friends who became the most popular... ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-11-29 1363
123880 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-29 0
123879 Homework (11/24) ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-29 1
123878 Homework (11/23) ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-29 1
123877 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-29 1609
123876 check on ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-29 1
123875 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-29 1568
123874 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-29 2026
123873 Would you like to attend a World Cup in the future? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-29 1559
123872 Which country, city, or town have you always wanted to travel... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-29 1432
123871 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-11-29 2
123870 HOMEWORK: What extreme sports do you know? Why do you think... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2022-11-29 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04