¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2023-01-05 787

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hi, there!
I must say "Today is money's day."
At lunch time, I had a meeting with a bank man, a judicial scrivener (I googled this word), and a building staff.
I had to pay the rest of the money for the building.
Instead of me, KB bank paid most of the money.
After that, I paid a large amount of money for tax.
This afternoon, interior team asked the middle money to me, so I sent lots of money to their account.
Did I tell you?
I have to move our home soon, so I need more money for the rest of the money of new house.
Money, money, and money...
Someone says, "Money is not important at all."
However, we really need a money to do anything.
As you know, I am a kind of slave of the money lately.
That's why I don't think that I achieve the success.
To make myself to feel free from the pressure, I have to make more money this year, and then pay the interests to many banks smoothly.
If I overcome this situation, I will be succeed, I think.
What about you?
See you tomorrow.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Dr. Kim!

Well, what can I say? Money really makes the world go round. Without it, people will never work hard. It is the grea motivator that fuels people to keep pushing. On the contrary, the lack of it destroys relationship, creates mistrust, and even result to death for some due to greed. Who ever said that money is not important better gives his/her money to us! However, it should not be all that we live for. We have to remember that family and ourselves matter more in earning money. I am sure that your life will be prosperous and money will not be a problem for a smart, hardworking, and patient doctor like you.

Then, keep very good professional communication to your patients as well as your colleagues to keep the inflow of money in your clinic. Remember, money chases the people who are happy and grateful for what they do and what they have. Most of all, pray that God sends you many ways to build your capabilities to multiply money such as the parable of the fish- five fish to thousands.

The grammar suggestions I made are correct capitalization, diction (correct choice of words), prepositions, among others. Please go over them well. Excellent composition!

See you later then.

-T. Donna~

Hi, there!
>> Correct!

I must say "Today is money's day."
>> Correct!

At lunch time, I had a meeting with a bank man, a judicial scrivener (I googled this word), and a building staff.
>> Correct!
Or: Googled

I had to pay the rest of the money for the building.
>> Correct!

Instead of me, KB bank paid most of the money.
>> Correct!

After that, I paid a large amount of money for tax.
>> Correct!

This afternoon, interior team asked the middle money to me, so I sent lots of money to their account.
>> This afternoon, th interior team asked the midterm money payment from me, so I sent lots of money to their account.

Did I tell you?
>> Correct!

I have to move our home soon, so I need more money for the rest of the money of new house.
>> I have to move our home soon, so I need more money for the rest of the money for the  new house.

Money, money, and money...
>> Correct!

Someone says, "Money is not important at all."
>> Correct!

However, we really need a money to do anything.
>> However, we really need money to do everything.

As you know, I am a kind of slave of the money lately.
>> As you know, I am a kind of slave of money lately.

That's why I don't think that I achieve the success.
>>  That's why I don't think that I achieved success.

To make myself to feel free from the pressure, I have to make more money this year, and then pay the interests to many banks smoothly.
>> To make myself to feel free from pressure, I have to make more money this year, and then pay the interests to many banks smoothly.

If I overcome this situation, I will be succeed, I think.
>> If I overcome this situation, I will succeed, I think.

What about you?
>> Correct!

See you tomorrow.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
124167 What was the best thing for you today? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-14 901
124166 Homework 12/14 °í*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-12-14 7
124165 What is the coldest month in your country? What temperature does... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-14 856
124164 Transportation to prefer when I travel ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-12-14 1408
124163 How can South Korea achieve its long-sought goal of a free and... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-14 963
124162 What kind f books do you read? Why do you like it? ±è*¹® ¿Ï·á 2022-12-14 1269
124161 How does a change in temperature affect your feelings? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-14 971
124160 ¿µ Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-14 918
124159 Where would you like to spend your winter vacation? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-14 0
124158 Have you experienced bad service lately? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-12-14 0
124157 How do you feel about your parents growing older? Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-12-14 890
124156 homework 1 ÀÌ*Çý ¿Ï·á 2022-12-14 1
124155 Homework(12/13) ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-13 1
124154 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-13 2
124153 HOMEWORK: What time of year is the best weather where you live?... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2022-12-13 1
124152 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-13 733
124151 Are you good at keeping secrets? Answer in a few sentences. ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-13 1186
124150 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-12-13 7
124149 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-12-13 1534
124148 Would you put a lot of pressure on your kids to study hard? Why... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-13 987

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04