¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2023-01-05 664

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hi, there!
I must say "Today is money's day."
At lunch time, I had a meeting with a bank man, a judicial scrivener (I googled this word), and a building staff.
I had to pay the rest of the money for the building.
Instead of me, KB bank paid most of the money.
After that, I paid a large amount of money for tax.
This afternoon, interior team asked the middle money to me, so I sent lots of money to their account.
Did I tell you?
I have to move our home soon, so I need more money for the rest of the money of new house.
Money, money, and money...
Someone says, "Money is not important at all."
However, we really need a money to do anything.
As you know, I am a kind of slave of the money lately.
That's why I don't think that I achieve the success.
To make myself to feel free from the pressure, I have to make more money this year, and then pay the interests to many banks smoothly.
If I overcome this situation, I will be succeed, I think.
What about you?
See you tomorrow.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Dr. Kim!

Well, what can I say? Money really makes the world go round. Without it, people will never work hard. It is the grea motivator that fuels people to keep pushing. On the contrary, the lack of it destroys relationship, creates mistrust, and even result to death for some due to greed. Who ever said that money is not important better gives his/her money to us! However, it should not be all that we live for. We have to remember that family and ourselves matter more in earning money. I am sure that your life will be prosperous and money will not be a problem for a smart, hardworking, and patient doctor like you.

Then, keep very good professional communication to your patients as well as your colleagues to keep the inflow of money in your clinic. Remember, money chases the people who are happy and grateful for what they do and what they have. Most of all, pray that God sends you many ways to build your capabilities to multiply money such as the parable of the fish- five fish to thousands.

The grammar suggestions I made are correct capitalization, diction (correct choice of words), prepositions, among others. Please go over them well. Excellent composition!

See you later then.

-T. Donna~

Hi, there!
>> Correct!

I must say "Today is money's day."
>> Correct!

At lunch time, I had a meeting with a bank man, a judicial scrivener (I googled this word), and a building staff.
>> Correct!
Or: Googled

I had to pay the rest of the money for the building.
>> Correct!

Instead of me, KB bank paid most of the money.
>> Correct!

After that, I paid a large amount of money for tax.
>> Correct!

This afternoon, interior team asked the middle money to me, so I sent lots of money to their account.
>> This afternoon, th interior team asked the midterm money payment from me, so I sent lots of money to their account.

Did I tell you?
>> Correct!

I have to move our home soon, so I need more money for the rest of the money of new house.
>> I have to move our home soon, so I need more money for the rest of the money for the  new house.

Money, money, and money...
>> Correct!

Someone says, "Money is not important at all."
>> Correct!

However, we really need a money to do anything.
>> However, we really need money to do everything.

As you know, I am a kind of slave of the money lately.
>> As you know, I am a kind of slave of money lately.

That's why I don't think that I achieve the success.
>>  That's why I don't think that I achieved success.

To make myself to feel free from the pressure, I have to make more money this year, and then pay the interests to many banks smoothly.
>> To make myself to feel free from pressure, I have to make more money this year, and then pay the interests to many banks smoothly.

If I overcome this situation, I will be succeed, I think.
>> If I overcome this situation, I will succeed, I think.

What about you?
>> Correct!

See you tomorrow.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
124880 Is it easy for you to commute going to your workplace? What are... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-15 2
124879 weekend routine ¹Ú*º° ¿Ï·á 2023-01-15 479
124878 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-15 474
124877 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-14 522
124876 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-14 556
124875 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-14 442
124874 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-14 469
124873 Who is your life mentor and why? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-01-14 437
124872 Make sentences using \'house\'. ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 1
124871 If you were a fashion item, what would you be and why? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 2
124870 Write a short essay about students and use the vocabulary words... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 5
124869 How would you react if your friend told you that your boyfriend... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 2
124868 I am ¡®house and home¡¯ person ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 656
124867 homework ½Å*ÈÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 807
124866 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 2109
124865 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 579
124864 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 625
124863 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 654
124862 Where would you like to go on vacation? Why? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 606
124861 What is the greatest challenge you have faced this month? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-01-13 717

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04