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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Fairy at the amusement park!?

작성자: 김*율
2023-01-05 863

회원님의 영작문

Hi! My name is Ipgenia, and I am a fairy at the amusement park. Do you know why most babies grab at the air when there is nothing there? It is because babies under 5 can see us, the amusement park fairies. Between fairies, human's common name like Tommy is unusual. Fairy's common names aren't usual in humanship because our common names are like Nataeyam or Aeiwa. Still, babies can also read our names, so when they say our (unusual in humanship) names, it sounds like babbling. Wow. That might be connected why babies still do those things even when mothers shush them. Oh my gosh, sorry. I haven't said what I do in amuesment parks. Amuesment park fairies keep people safe when riding a ride. As a ride gets more dangerous, we need more power and needs many fairies. That's why people thing the rides are all safe. But theris a time that the cheif fairy calls us and exept for royal fairies (which is a lot than you think), all the fairies go into a trance. That makes accidents. Stay safe! Ha Ha

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good day, Heather! Thank you for touring me around the amusement park and telling me exciting stories about it. I wish I could go to amusement park with you. I will see you in class.~ T. Lyn
Hi! My name is Ipgenia, and I am a fairy at the amusement park. 
>>Hi, my name is Ipgenia and I am an amusement park fairy.
Do you know why most babies grab at the air when there is nothing there?
>>Do you know why babies grab or catch air when there is none?
It is because babies under 5 can see us, the amusement park fairies.
>>It is because babies under the age of five can see us, the amusement park fairies.
Between fairies, human's common name like Tommy is unusual. 
>>Among fairies, human nicknames such as Tommy are rare.
Fairy's common names aren't usual in humanship because our common names are like Nataeyam or Aeiwa. 
>>Fairy's common name is not common in human as our common name is Nataeyam or Aeiwa.
Still, babies can also read our names, so when they say our (unusual in humanship) names, it sounds like babbling. 
>>Babies can still read our names too, the sould like babbling when they say our names.
Wow. That might be connected why babies still do those things even when mothers shush them. 
>>Wow! It may have something to do with why babies still behave strangely even when the mothers shush them.
Oh my gosh, sorry. 
>>Correct.
I haven't said what I do in amuesment parks. 
>>I haven't said what I do at the amusement park.
Amuesment park fairies keep people safe when riding a ride. 
>>Fairies in amusement parks keep people safe while riding the rides.
As a ride gets more dangerous, we need more power and needs many fairies. 
>>The more dangerous the ride, the more power and more fairies you will need.
That's why people thing the rides are all safe. 
>>So people think the rides are all safe.
But theris a time that the cheif fairy calls us and exept for royal fairies (which is a lot than you think), all the fairies go into a trance. 
>>However, there are times when the chief fairy calls us and all the fairies fall into trance except for the royal fairies (more than expected).
That makes accidents. 
>>It creates accidents.
Stay safe! Ha Ha
>>Stay safe!
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03
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04

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