¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2023-01-04 557

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hello.
How was your day?
Lately, there has been only few patients in the clinic.
Maybe I guess that many people are trying to save money.
I hope our situation will be better.
I have a good news.
Dr. MJ found a parking place near our new building.
Because I plan to meet a building company staff tomorrow, I will visit the parking lots and ask if we could use it.
I really hope that it's possible to use that parking lots.
Meanwhile, I met the last moving company boss.
He requested too much money.
That's why we decided to contract the company that we met yesterday.
After our work, Dr. Bae who will work for the current clinic came to the clinic.
We discussed about many things; Education of staff, Interview of new staff for him, Elongation of some contracts including security, and mutual movement.
As we talked to each other, I realized Dr. Bae really like to travel.
As I looked at him, I thought "Success"means doing everything when I want it.
It needs a time, money, and relationships.
See you

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good morning, Dr. Kim!

Yesterday, my son went back to school so, I felt a little tired doing all the motherly things like cooking, cleaning, and preparing for all of his things but I am used to them. So, it is back to 'normal', I must say. 

I guess you are right. People want to save their money now so, when it is time to almost necessary to go out because of spring time, clients and patients will start to flock in your clinic and be beautiful. I guess, they know that you will also be transferring so, maybe, you will be visited in your new clinic soon. It's a great news that you have found parking. I think that is very crucial in keeping your patients since they will always consider comfort after surgery or consultation.

Meanwhile, I am not sure what you mostly talked about Dr. Bae, however, he has some definition of 'success' or maybe, you have concluded that success, as evident in the case of Dr. Bae is the freedom to choose the things that makes one happy such as vacation, time for one's self, and quality relationships. I totally agree with thim and with you then.

Therefore, I have deleted some unnecessary words for the grammar suggestions. Also, underscored are my other suggestions to complete or replace other words that will make the sentences even more correct. Study them carefully. Thank you so much for your hard work always!

See you again soon.

-T. Donna~

Hello.
>> Correct!

How was your day?
>> Correct!

Lately, there has been only few patients in the clinic.
>> Correct!

Maybe I guess that many people are trying to save money.
>> Maybe, I guess, many people are trying to save money.

I hope our situation will be better.
>> Correct!

I have a good news.
>> Correct!

Dr. MJ found a parking place near our new building.
>> Correct!

Because I plan to meet a building company staff tomorrow, I will visit the parking lots and ask if we could use it.
>> Correct!

I really hope that it's possible to use that parking lots.
>> I really hope that it's possible to use those parking lots.

Meanwhile, I met the last moving company boss.
>> Correct!

He requested too much money.
>> Correct!

That's why we decided to contract the company that we met yesterday.
>> That's why we decided to sign a contract with the company that we met yesterday.

After our work, Dr. Bae who will work for the current clinic came to the clinic.
>> Correct!

We discussed about many things; Education of staff, Interview of new staff for him, Elongation of some contracts including security, and mutual movement.
>> Correct!
Or: We discussed about many things; education of staff, interview of new staff for him, elongation of some contracts including security, and mutual movement.

As we talked to each other, I realized Dr. Bae really like to travel.
>> As we talked to each other, I realized Dr. Bae really likes to travel.

As I looked at him, I thought "Success"means doing everything when I want it.
>> Correct!
Or: As I looked at him, I thought "success"means doing everything when I want it.

It needs a time, money, and relationships.
>> It needs time, money, and relationships.

See you
>> See you.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
124622 Wednesday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-04 599
124621 Day off ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2023-01-04 3
124620 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-04 1
124619 1/4 °í*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-01-04 0
124618 What¡¯s new with you? ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-01-04 449
124617 right ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-04 434
124616 Why do you think kids nowadays like playing online games? ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-04 1
124615 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-01-04 1
124614 Bird Beak! ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-01-04 561
124613 3.Jan.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-04 2
124612 What do you like best about staying at home? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-04 1102
124611 Which school subject do you like the most? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-04 472
124610 What¡¯s new with you? ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-01-04 428
124609 Homework ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-01-04 2
124608 about COVID-19 ÃÖ*³ª ¿Ï·á 2023-01-03 553
124607 If you could buy only one of these two things, would you choose... ¾ç*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-01-03 748
124606 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-03 549
124605 my biggest goal. ¹Ú*º° ¿Ï·á 2023-01-03 572
124604 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-03 561
124603 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-03 556

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04