무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Bird Beak!

작성자: 김*율
2023-01-04 574

회원님의 영작문

This a new story of an ancient era's birds.

Beaks, Beaks, Go Away, No, No, No, Come Back! : In a very very VERY old temple, that was built 4920 thousand years ago, the King Bird and the Queen Bird was giving the crown to his dazzling daughter and his outstanding son. They were now 13 and were getting the bird crown made of fern. the Queen Bird and the King Bird will fly away and soon Queen Moonbow, the princess and king Sunbeam, the prince, will lead the temple. Sunbeam and Moonbow waited for their royal gift to arrive at the temple's roof nest. At that time, they had mouths, not beaks. They never wanted a beak. It was too hard and pointy. They leaned over to see the gift and they fell in. After a minute, they came out crying with a beak instead of a mouth. Everyone they eye contacted with turned thier mouths into beaks. Soon, every bird was having beaks. In forlorn, they adapted to the beaks and grew happy again. They could do much more things! That's why birds have beaks nowdays.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good day, Heather! Thank you for the time you spent making a story about the bird's beak. I had fun reading it. We can talk more about it in class. I will see you.~ T. Lyn
Beaks, Beaks, Go Away, No, No, No, Come Back! : 
>>Title: "Beaks, Beaks, Go Away, No, No, No, Come Back!"
In a very very VERY old temple, that was built 4920 thousand years ago, the King Bird and the Queen Bird was giving the crown to his dazzling daughter and his outstanding son. 
>>In a very, very, very old temple build 4.92 million years ago, the King Bird and Queen Bird were giving crowns to a brilliant daughter and a brilliant son.
They were now 13 and were getting the bird crown made of fern. 
>>They were now 13 years old receiving new crowns made of fern.
the Queen Bird and the King Bird will fly away and soon Queen Moonbow, the princess and king Sunbeam, the prince, will lead the temple. 
>>The Queen Bird and King Bird will fly away, and soon Princess Moonbow and Prince Sunbeam will lead the temple.
Sunbeam and Moonbow waited for their royal gift to arrive at the temple's roof nest.
>>Sunbeam and Moonbow awaited the arrival of the royal gift to the roof nest of the temple.
At that time, they had mouths, not beaks. 
>>Correct.
They never wanted a beak. 
>>Correct.
It was too hard and pointy. 
>>The beak was too hard and pointed.
They leaned over to see the gift and they fell in. 
>>They leaned over to see the gift and fell into it.
After a minute, they came out crying with a beak instead of a mouth.
>>After a while, they came out crying with their beaks instead of mouths.
Everyone they eye contacted with turned thier mouths into beaks.
>>Everyone makes eye contact the mouth that turn into the beak.
Soon, every bird was having beaks. 
>>Soon, all birds will have beaks.
In forlorn, they adapted to the beaks and grew happy again. 
>>In their desolation, they adapted to their beaks and were happy again.
They could do much more things! 
>>They can do so much more with their beaks.
That's why birds have beaks nowdays.
>>That's why birds have beaks today.
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
124520 Do you agree that children should be protected at home, in... 황*하 완료 2022-12-30 674
124519 What are the advantages of traveling alone? 김*문 완료 2022-12-30 1014
124518 How do you feel about your parents growing older? 김*성 완료 2022-12-30 4
124517 What pets are most popular in your country? Do you have any... 황*하 완료 2022-12-30 571
124516 How can using social media put your privacy at risk? 김*성 완료 2022-12-30 2
124515 end 김*라 완료 2022-12-30 9
124514 Homework 오*봄 완료 2022-12-30 3
124513 How did you manage overcoming yourself from using social media? 신*섭 완료 2022-12-30 559
124512 What did you do with your first salary? What were the things you... 신*섭 완료 2022-12-30 482
124511 Define gender equality. What are the factors that should be... 황*하 완료 2022-12-30 473
124510 Homework 함*주 완료 2022-12-30 1
124509 What was the single best thing that happened this past year? 임*윤 완료 2022-12-30 704
124508 I love this new year! 김*율 완료 2022-12-30 647
124507 Do you prefer to watch, listen to or read about news? 임*호 완료 2022-12-30 0
124506 29.Dec.2022 김*정 완료 2022-12-30 1
124505 Homework 오*빈 완료 2022-12-30 4
124504 How much do you value your privacy? Why? 김*민 완료 2022-12-30 9
124503 The impulse buying 김*님 완료 2022-12-30 579
124502 If your friend was doing something dangerous or illegal, what... 김*성 완료 2022-12-29 2
124501 What is a memorable social gathering that you had in the past? 김*규 완료 2022-12-29 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]