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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
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Homework

작성자: 김*서
2022-12-29 901

회원님의 영작문

Writing Exercise: In order to solve traffic problems, governments should tax private car owners heavily and use the money to improve public transportation. What are the advantages and disadvantages of such a solution?
Answer)
If the government do some administrations for solving meters about cars, bicycles etc, there will be advantages because its purpose is to solve to problem. But the admisistrations may occur side effects.
The solutions done by government spend tax. The tax is limited and made by nations money. So side effects can be occured because these tax's temper. The first meter is that by solve traffic problems, other problems can not be solved becuase the limit of tax. Since of that, critical problems which effect to us direct can not be solved. And if government make the plan to solve all of meters, tax's raito of import money can be increase.
However, adventages by solving traffic meters is more important than its disadventages. Since traffic meter is always next to us

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Raina!
This is a good start.
I can see some points that you need to work on.
We have a long way to go.
Buckle up and let's work hard.^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
If the government do some administrations for solving meters about cars, bicycles etc, there will be advantages because its purpose is to solve to problem. 
>> The government can set up more traffic meters for cars, bicycles and others to solve the problem.
But the admisistrations may occur side effects.
>> However, there might be a bad side to this solution.
The solutions done by government spend tax. 
>> These solutions require taxes to be collected by the government. 
The tax is limited and made by nations money. 
>> Taxes are limited and they come from the whole nation. 
So side effects can be occured because these tax's temper. 
>> There may be bad effects because of taxpayers' willingness to pay.
The first meter is that by solve traffic problems, other problems can not be solved becuase the limit of tax. 
>> However, if we only focus on traffic meters, other problems might not be solved because of limited taxes. 
Since of that, critical problems which effect to us direct can not be solved. 
>> Because of that, critical problems may affect us directly when they are not solved. 
And if government make the plan to solve all of meters, tax's raito of import money can be increase.
>> If the government comes up with a plan to set up meters, they can increase taxes on imported products. 
However, adventages by solving traffic meters is more important than its disadventages. 
>> The advantages brought about by traffic meters are more important than the disadvantages. 
Since traffic meter is always next to us
>> It's because traffic meters are always available near us.
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