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Perfects in the Whole Wide School

작성자: 김*율
2022-12-28 898

회원님의 영작문

In Honeymoon Elementary, which adults call the HE, Sarah and her sister Dorothea were having the best and the normal-est time. They were enjoying every bit of the whole HE 1st grade to 8th grade. Every semester they were the class president and the vice, still everyone truly loved their kindness and never complained. Sarah was cute and perfect and she was in 5th grade. Every boys gathered around her and begged to play. She always declined, but naturally, she always ended up hanging around with a boy. Seriously, she was always the dazzling and warm one. Dorothea was cool, but she had the same dazzling look on her WHOLE BODY like Sarah. Around 8th grade Dor
-othea, class boys were looking at her, dazed. For more info, Sarah and Dorothea always packed diet food in a skyblue lunchbox that was shaped like royal bowls. They always had fun games up in their sleeves to do with the dragging boys. Sarah and Dorothea was popular around HE and also did not have any enemies. They\'re the perfects! ✨

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good day, Heather! I appreciate that you are able to send your composition earlier. The story is nice. Let's talk about it in class. I will see you then.~ T. Lyn
In Honeymoon Elementary, which adults call the HE, Sarah and her sister Dorothea were having the best and the normal-est time. 
>>At Honeymoon Elementary School, which the grown-ups called HE, Sarah, and her sister Dorothea are having the best and most normal times.
They were enjoying every bit of the whole HE 1st grade to 8th grade. 
>>They were enjoying all parts of the entire HE from first to eighth grades. 
Every semester they were the class president and the vice, still everyone truly loved their kindness and never complained.
>>Each semester they were class president and vice president because everyone really loved their kindness and never complained.
Sarah was cute and perfect and she was in 5th grade. 
>>Correct.
Every boys gathered around her and begged to play. 
>>All the boys gathered around her and begged to play.
She always declined, but naturally, she always ended up hanging around with a boy.
>>She always declined or said no to them but naturally always ended up hanging out with them.
Seriously, she was always the dazzling and warm one. 
>>Indeed, she was always dazzling and warm.
Dorothea was cool, but she had the same dazzling look on her WHOLE BODY like Sarah.
>>Dorothea was cool, but she, like Sarah, had a full-body glaring expression.
Around 8th grade Dor-othea, class boys were looking at her, dazed. 
>>The boys were staring with dazed expressions at Dorothea around the eighth grade.
For more info, Sarah and Dorothea always packed diet food in a skyblue lunchbox that was shaped like royal bowls. 
>>Sarah and Dorothea have always packed diet foods in sky blue lunchboxes shaped like royal bowls.
They always had fun games up in their sleeves to do with the dragging boys. 
>>They always have fun games up their sleeves involving the boys they're attracted to.
Sarah and Dorothea was popular around HE and also did not have any enemies.
>>Sarah and Dorothea were popular around HE and never had enemies.
They\'re the perfects!
>>They are perfect!
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