¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

\"Happiness is not in the mere possession of money; it lies in the joy of achievement, in the thrill

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¹Î
2022-12-27 766

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I suppose it means happiness is not only from money. The quote says happiness is from not only money but also the joy of achievement, and the thrill of creative effort. I think Franklin D. Roosevelt wanted to say to people that they don't have to find their happiness in their money and they can find their own happiness in small things like the thrill of creative effort or the joy of achievement.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's your second edited composition this week, Chloe!
As always, please check the corrections and alternative sentences. 

Cheers,
Jean~~


                "Happiness is not in the mere possession of money; it lies in the joy of achievement, in the thrill of creative effort."

I suppose it means happiness is not only from money. 
>> OR: To my mind, it can be interpreted money is not the only source of happiness. 

The quote says happiness is from not only money but also the joy of achievement, and the thrill of creative effort.
>> OR: The line from the quote states that happiness does not only come from money but also the pleasure arising from one's personal achievement. 

 I think Franklin D. Roosevelt wanted to say to people that they don't have to find their happiness in their money and they can find their own happiness in small things like the thrill of creative effort or the joy of achievement.
>> OR: I guess FDR wanted to express to people that money is not equivalent to happiness, instead, they can do the things they love and pursue the greatness that they believe they are capable of and get some happiness from their success. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
123991 Do illegal immigrants commit a lot of crimes? Why or why not? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-05 1066
123990 Homework~~ ¹Ú*Çü ¿Ï·á 2022-12-05 1135
123989 HOMEWORK: Make a sentence for each of the words: 1. ourselves 2.... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2022-12-05 1
123988 Homework~~ ¹Ú*Çü ¿Ï·á 2022-12-05 1277
123987 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-05 1202
123986 What computer games do you think is popular among people your... ±è*¹® ¿Ï·á 2022-12-05 1099
123985 Homework (12/05) ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-05 4
123984 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-05 981
123983 Make a story about soccer games. ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-12-05 869
123982 Besides Christmas, there are other special days around the end... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-05 957
123981 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-12-05 3
123980 relationship ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-05 1
123979 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-05 0
123978 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-12-05 0
123977 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-05 686
123976 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-05 786
123975 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-05 2
123974 How do sports players show respect after a game? Are there any... ±è*½Ä ¿Ï·á 2022-12-05 1
123973 Which do you think is the best season for a vacation? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-05 1016
123972 How does money make you happy? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-05 984

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04