¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

\"Happiness is not in the mere possession of money; it lies in the joy of achievement, in the thrill

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¹Î
2022-12-27 893

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I suppose it means happiness is not only from money. The quote says happiness is from not only money but also the joy of achievement, and the thrill of creative effort. I think Franklin D. Roosevelt wanted to say to people that they don't have to find their happiness in their money and they can find their own happiness in small things like the thrill of creative effort or the joy of achievement.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's your second edited composition this week, Chloe!
As always, please check the corrections and alternative sentences. 

Cheers,
Jean~~


                "Happiness is not in the mere possession of money; it lies in the joy of achievement, in the thrill of creative effort."

I suppose it means happiness is not only from money. 
>> OR: To my mind, it can be interpreted money is not the only source of happiness. 

The quote says happiness is from not only money but also the joy of achievement, and the thrill of creative effort.
>> OR: The line from the quote states that happiness does not only come from money but also the pleasure arising from one's personal achievement. 

 I think Franklin D. Roosevelt wanted to say to people that they don't have to find their happiness in their money and they can find their own happiness in small things like the thrill of creative effort or the joy of achievement.
>> OR: I guess FDR wanted to express to people that money is not equivalent to happiness, instead, they can do the things they love and pursue the greatness that they believe they are capable of and get some happiness from their success. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
122194 A book Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 2
122193 Which room in your home do you spend the most time in? Please... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 1189
122192 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 1685
122191 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 1
122190 Which greeting kind of annoys you? ¾È*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 1580
122189 Hi Gemmar ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 1301
122188 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 1
122187 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 1450
122186 Caleb\'s Homework for September 05. ±Ç*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 1478
122185 bad person ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 1762
122184 Does any particular food bring back any special memories for you? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 1446
122183 Homework: Create simple sentences using the following words ±è*¿í ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 1240
122182 homework À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 2176
122181 Please use the expressions in a sentence: ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 1074
122180 09.05.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 1
122179 Which is heavier a cookie or a bowl? Which is lighter a pencil... ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 0
122178 What is your most favourite vegetable and which do you like the... ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 1472
122177 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 1985
122176 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 1411
122175 Weekend ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 1787

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04