¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

\"Happiness is not in the mere possession of money; it lies in the joy of achievement, in the thrill

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¹Î
2022-12-27 888

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I suppose it means happiness is not only from money. The quote says happiness is from not only money but also the joy of achievement, and the thrill of creative effort. I think Franklin D. Roosevelt wanted to say to people that they don't have to find their happiness in their money and they can find their own happiness in small things like the thrill of creative effort or the joy of achievement.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's your second edited composition this week, Chloe!
As always, please check the corrections and alternative sentences. 

Cheers,
Jean~~


                "Happiness is not in the mere possession of money; it lies in the joy of achievement, in the thrill of creative effort."

I suppose it means happiness is not only from money. 
>> OR: To my mind, it can be interpreted money is not the only source of happiness. 

The quote says happiness is from not only money but also the joy of achievement, and the thrill of creative effort.
>> OR: The line from the quote states that happiness does not only come from money but also the pleasure arising from one's personal achievement. 

 I think Franklin D. Roosevelt wanted to say to people that they don't have to find their happiness in their money and they can find their own happiness in small things like the thrill of creative effort or the joy of achievement.
>> OR: I guess FDR wanted to express to people that money is not equivalent to happiness, instead, they can do the things they love and pursue the greatness that they believe they are capable of and get some happiness from their success. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
122266 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 0
122265 What kinds of diet do you know? ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 5
122264 Which good habit do you think would be the most difficult to... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 2162
122263 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 1208
122262 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 1502
122261 Who changes their mind more often? Men or women? ÀÓ*¶û ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 3
122260 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 2
122259 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 1
122258 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 18
122257 Can you think of some reason why people don\'t keep dogs or cats? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 1088
122256 wording ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 1405
122255 9/8 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 1440
122254 Why do you want to learn other languages? What are the benefits... ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 2011
122253 09.07.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 3
122252 What nonverbal action is offensive to you? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 0
122251 How did you meet your best friend? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 3
122250 Some artworks can cause a fortune. Do you think the value of... ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 2
122249 Making Kimchichigae Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 0
122248 9/7 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 1939
122247 How would you describe a healthy diet? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 1873

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04