¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Is Christmas too commercial nowadays? How should a very traditional Christmas be spent?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2022-12-27 1134

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

The Christmas season is sure to be a good chance for lagging commerce to bound up again. However, We shouldn¡¯t forget the original meaning of Christmas. I don¡¯t blame how commercial Christmas comes to be nowadays. But I want to say what is inside that counts. In short, we need to celebrate Christmas, reminding us of the true happiness of Christmas, that is, we can be drawn closer to God thanks to Jesus¡¯s sacrifice. Anyway, Christmas day is a blessed day. So Let us not only enjoy it ourselves but also share the happiness of the day with as many people as possible so that Christmas can be full of joy and happiness.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Steve! ^^
Thank you for the composition.
See you in our next class! :)

~ Teacher Tricia


The Christmas season is sure to be a good chance for lagging commerce to bound up again. 
>>> CORRECT!

However, We shouldn¡¯t forget the original meaning of Christmas. 
>>> CORRECT!

I don¡¯t blame how commercial Christmas comes to be nowadays. 
>>> CORRECT!

But I want to say what is inside that counts.
>>> CORRECT!

In short, we need to celebrate Christmas, reminding us of the true happiness of Christmas, that is, we can be drawn closer to God thanks to Jesus¡¯s sacrifice. 
>>> CORRECT!

Anyway, Christmas day is a blessed day. 
>>> CORRECT!

So Let us not only enjoy it ourselves but also share the happiness of the day with as many people as possible so that Christmas can be full of joy and happiness.
>>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
122366 I value and admire the.. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-09-15 1161
122365 What is the best festival in South Korea? Answer in a few... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-15 1409
122364 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-09-15 0
122363 Do you think famous people have the right to have a private life? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-15 2111
122362 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-15 1972
122361 What is your opinion about the joint military training of South... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-15 2012
122360 Do you think there should be more rules for drivers in your... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-15 1174
122359 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-15 1
122358 Do you think you have leadership skills? ÀÓ*¶û ¿Ï·á 2022-09-15 1
122357 How can we lead exciting lives? ÀÓ*¶û ¿Ï·á 2022-09-15 2
122356 describe how you celebrated Chuseok with your family. Use as... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-15 2115
122355 English ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-15 1
122354 Make, compose, or construct two (2) sentences with the adjective... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-15 1075
122353 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-15 1
122352 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-15 1805
122351 Homework ³ë*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-15 2
122350 Homework ±è*¿í ¿Ï·á 2022-09-15 2068
122349 9/15 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-15 2151
122348 Do you think time moves slowly or quickly? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-15 2
122347 Which greeting kind of annoys you? À¯*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-15 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04