¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Is Christmas too commercial nowadays? How should a very traditional Christmas be spent?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2022-12-27 1126

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

The Christmas season is sure to be a good chance for lagging commerce to bound up again. However, We shouldn¡¯t forget the original meaning of Christmas. I don¡¯t blame how commercial Christmas comes to be nowadays. But I want to say what is inside that counts. In short, we need to celebrate Christmas, reminding us of the true happiness of Christmas, that is, we can be drawn closer to God thanks to Jesus¡¯s sacrifice. Anyway, Christmas day is a blessed day. So Let us not only enjoy it ourselves but also share the happiness of the day with as many people as possible so that Christmas can be full of joy and happiness.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Steve! ^^
Thank you for the composition.
See you in our next class! :)

~ Teacher Tricia


The Christmas season is sure to be a good chance for lagging commerce to bound up again. 
>>> CORRECT!

However, We shouldn¡¯t forget the original meaning of Christmas. 
>>> CORRECT!

I don¡¯t blame how commercial Christmas comes to be nowadays. 
>>> CORRECT!

But I want to say what is inside that counts.
>>> CORRECT!

In short, we need to celebrate Christmas, reminding us of the true happiness of Christmas, that is, we can be drawn closer to God thanks to Jesus¡¯s sacrifice. 
>>> CORRECT!

Anyway, Christmas day is a blessed day. 
>>> CORRECT!

So Let us not only enjoy it ourselves but also share the happiness of the day with as many people as possible so that Christmas can be full of joy and happiness.
>>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
122544 loosen up ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-22 3
122543 Do you love your grandparents? Why or why not? ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-09-22 1618
122542 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-22 1408
122541 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-22 1011
122540 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-09-22 2
122539 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-22 1579
122538 What should you do when you have a stomachache? ÃÖ*±³ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-22 1477
122537 Which animals make the best pets? Why? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-22 1510
122536 The popular game in Korea among kids ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-22 0
122535 Use the following words in creative sentences ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-09-22 1702
122534 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-09-22 0
122533 Should I go to university, or not? ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-09-22 1669
122532 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-22 2474
122531 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-22 1289
122530 Is it easy for you to forgive people who have hurt your feelings? Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-22 3
122529 Give some examples of technology that have made the world worse. Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-22 2
122528 homework ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-09-22 1925
122527 List two benefits (pros) and two drawbacks (cons) of learning... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-22 1855
122526 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-22 1745
122525 Who do you resemble most? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-09-22 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04