¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Who do you think is better at saving money, boys or girls?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¹Î
2022-12-21 1352

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think girls will normally be good at saving money because generally, girls are better at managing something than boys. For example, girls normally like taking notes for their lessons and I think taking notes or a passbook will be helpful when they are managing their own finances. Also, moms usually manage family's finances, and girls are also female as moms, which means they can be better at taking care of their money.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's your edited composition, Chloe!

I appreciate your sending it. See you tomorrow!

Cheers,
Jean~~


Who do you think is better at saving money, boys or girls?
I think girls will normally be good at saving money because generally, girls are better at managing something than boys. 
>> or: If you ask me, girls are known to be better at managing things so I'd say they are also ahead of boys when it comes to saving money. 

For example, girls normally like taking notes for their lessons and I think taking notes or a passbook will be helpful when they are managing their own finances.
>> or: For instance, females are more inclined to take notes in class; what's more, I believe notes or passbooks will be helpful when handling their own financial affairs. 

Also, moms usually manage family's finances, and girls are also female as moms, which means they can be better at taking care of their money.
>> or: Not to mention, moms typically serve as home managers, and girls being females just like moms are, it's safe to assume that they are superior to men in terms of money matters. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
124237 Homework(12/16) ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-16 0
124236 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-12-16 3
124235 Make a story about counting number. ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-12-16 712
124234 HOMEWORK: What do you think of being a florist someday? Discuss... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2022-12-16 0
124233 HOMEWORK: What does \"Thanksgiving\" mean to you? Discuss in 3... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2022-12-16 0
124232 HOMEWORK: Make a sentence for each interrogative adjective. 1.... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2022-12-16 2
124231 Tell something valuable that you know about Korea\'s history. ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-12-16 685
124230 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-12-16 1604
124229 Writing Exercise: If you could pack only 3 items for your next... ±è*½Ä ¿Ï·á 2022-12-16 647
124228 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-16 768
124227 Should death penalty be practiced in your country? Why or why... ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-16 776
124226 What do you use social media for? ±è*¹® ¿Ï·á 2022-12-16 807
124225 Do you think people should give money to homeless people? Why or... ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-16 767
124224 My small dream ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-16 6
124223 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-16 0
124222 It is been a while. ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-16 874
124221 Homework ÀÌ*Çý ¿Ï·á 2022-12-16 2
124220 Travel is Two edged of sword! ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-12-16 650
124219 Homework 12/16 °í*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-12-16 4
124218 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-16 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04