¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

My city is small but it\'s nice

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¿À*Çõ
2022-12-20 1030

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

My city is not capital city
But it's nice
My home town is not noise traffic My cousin city is big and noise.
My city is not huge not noise
MY city have too many cars.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there, Lucas!

Thanks for sending your composition. I appreciate it.  Please check the corrections and alternative sentences. 
See you on Thursday! 

Cheers,
Jean~~

My city is not capital city
>> My city is not the capital city. 
>> or: I don't live in the capital city. 

But it's nice.
>> OR: I still like it though. 

My home town is not noise traffic My cousin city is big and noise.
>> My hometown is not noisy because there's no traffic but my cousin's city is big and noisy. 

My city is not huge not noise
>> My city is not huge so it's not noisy. 
>> NOTE: "Noise" can be a noun or a verb but "noisy" is an adjective. They are two different words. 

MY city have too many cars.
>> However, there are too many cars in my city. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
124288 Can you tell me about something you regret? Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-12-19 1232
124287 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-19 684
124286 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-12-19 696
124285 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-12-19 2
124284 Gift-giving! ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-12-19 600
124283 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-19 549
124282 What is the saddest movie, song, or story that you know? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-19 766
124281 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-12-19 587
124280 HOMEWORK: Do you think language affects thought? Discuss in 3 to... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2022-12-19 4
124279 Homework (12/19) ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-19 1
124278 Should religions be exempt from paying taxes? Do you think it is... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-19 739
124277 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-12-19 0
124276 staff ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2022-12-19 1
124275 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-12-19 2
124274 What is the longest time you have been away from home? Did you... ±è*¹® ¿Ï·á 2022-12-19 879
124273 Do you sympathize or empathize with others\' feelings most of... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-12-19 0
124272 What advantages are there for a woman who stays at home when her... ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-19 674
124271 Should students get limited access to the Internet? Why or why... ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-19 732
124270 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-19 668
124269 The movie ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-19 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04