¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

My city is small but it\'s nice

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¿À*Çõ
2022-12-20 1280

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

My city is not capital city
But it's nice
My home town is not noise traffic My cousin city is big and noise.
My city is not huge not noise
MY city have too many cars.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there, Lucas!

Thanks for sending your composition. I appreciate it.  Please check the corrections and alternative sentences. 
See you on Thursday! 

Cheers,
Jean~~

My city is not capital city
>> My city is not the capital city. 
>> or: I don't live in the capital city. 

But it's nice.
>> OR: I still like it though. 

My home town is not noise traffic My cousin city is big and noise.
>> My hometown is not noisy because there's no traffic but my cousin's city is big and noisy. 

My city is not huge not noise
>> My city is not huge so it's not noisy. 
>> NOTE: "Noise" can be a noun or a verb but "noisy" is an adjective. They are two different words. 

MY city have too many cars.
>> However, there are too many cars in my city. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
120231 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-28 691
120230 What is the scariest story that you know? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-06-28 360
120229 What is a memorable food that you ate in a different country? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-06-27 3
120228 The discovery of fire. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-06-27 465
120227 IELTS part2 ÇÔ*¸® ¿Ï·á 2022-06-27 2
120226 6/27 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-27 396
120225 What are the advantages and disadvantages of living in a small... ±è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-06-27 791
120224 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-27 0
120223 What was your dream job when you were young? ÇÑ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-27 597
120222 What¡¯s the best way to stop being bored? Answer in 5 sentences... ±è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-06-27 616
120221 Homework ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-27 514
120220 Some people do not like to talk about politics. How about you,... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-27 1183
120219 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-27 891
120218 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-27 582
120217 About friends ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-06-27 3
120216 What do you think is the best age to be? Explain your opinion. ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-27 4
120215 How do you think the discovery of fire changed the life of... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-27 673
120214 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-06-27 1
120213 The reason why there are generally few women in top positions. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-06-27 627
120212 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-27 859

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04