무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Animals\' rights

작성자: 김*문
2022-12-18 674

회원님의 영작문

I think human is egocentric existence. Human dominates the world considering it is okay and reasonable. They had slaughtered even the same race through various wars. So, it was more easy to disrupt and destroy the nature and the animal. However, animal have same right as human. What's the difference between human and animal? A long time ago when there was no human, some animals had existed and advanced themselves. Human abruptly came out to society and occupied the top of the food chain. Human have much power now but, it doesn't mean they aren't or less precious. The life are all valuable. So, human shouldn't consider animal as method. We have to coexist together. Whenever we butcher animal to gain something to eat, the process should be moral and respectful. And we must not do animal testing in immoral way. Absolutely, I can't oppose to the animal testing for our life in human's side but, the procedure should be at least. Human should be thankful and respect the all life.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good afternoon, Mary!
Thank you for sharing your insights about animal rights. I agree that they have rights as humans and we should respect them too.
I think human is egocentric existence.
>> I think a human is born egocentric.
Human dominates the world considering it is okay and reasonable.
>> Correct
They had slaughtered even the same race through various wars.
>> Correct
So, it was more easy to disrupt and destroy the nature and the animal.
>> So, it was easier to disrupt and destroy nature and animals.
However, animal have same right as human.
>> However, animals have the same rights as humans.
What's the difference between human and animal?
>> What's the difference between humans and animals?
A long time ago when there was no human, some animals had existed and advanced themselves.
>> A long time ago when there was no human, some animals existed and advanced themselves.
Human abruptly came out to society and occupied the top of the food chain.
>> Humans abruptly came out to society and occupied the top of the food chain.
Human have much power now but, it doesn't mean they aren't or less precious.
>> Humans have much power now but, it doesn't mean they aren't or less precious.
The life are all valuable.
>> Life is valuable.
So, human shouldn't consider animal as method.
>> So, humans shouldn't consider animals as a method of research.
We have to coexist together.
>> Correct
Whenever we butcher animal to gain something to eat, the process should be moral and respectful.
>> Whenever we butcher an animal for food, the process should be moral and respectful.
And we must not do animal testing in immoral way.
>> Correct
Absolutely, I can't oppose to the animal testing for our life in human's side but, the procedure should be at least.
>> Absolutely, I can't oppose animal testing for our life but, the procedure should be at least done in a more humane way.
Human should be thankful and respect the all life.
>> Humans should be thankful and respect life.
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
122994 homework 박*은 완료 2022-10-14 1
122993 Hi Jhozel 이*진 완료 2022-10-14 2636
122992 What qualities do you think are important in a friend? 이*미 완료 2022-10-14 0
122991 Use the following words in creative sentences: 선* 완료 2022-10-14 0
122990 Make sentences in a creative way 선* 완료 2022-10-14 2454
122989 Homework 함*주 완료 2022-10-14 2
122988 Do you try to maintain a balanced diet? 신*관 완료 2022-10-14 1789
122987 my hobby 윤*영 완료 2022-10-14 1
122986 How often do you go shopping for clothes? 임*호 완료 2022-10-14 2
122985 My Homework 강*우 완료 2022-10-14 2407
122984 What problems do pets create for people? 김*경 완료 2022-10-14 1839
122983 10/13 homework 윤*현 완료 2022-10-14 2125
122982 sadness 김*서 완료 2022-10-13 1526
122981 Homework 송*민 완료 2022-10-13 1710
122980 homework 박*민 완료 2022-10-13 2
122979 Write down a novel story you know! 김*율 완료 2022-10-13 2606
122978 Is sadness a bad feeling? Are there good types of sadness and... 태*서 완료 2022-10-13 1851
122977 How long have you known your best friend and what do you like... 박*경 완료 2022-10-13 1891
122976 Do you ever feel like you are just wasting your time? What... 신*섭 완료 2022-10-13 5794
122975 Use the following words in sentences 신*섭 완료 2022-10-13 1736

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]