¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2022-12-12 581

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hello, T. Donna.
It¡¯s Sunday night.
Now we have only two other night in Hawaii.
As you know, we moved to another hotel named Disney resort.
This hotel has a special concept;Disney characters like Miki mouse, Donald duck, and so on.
After we arrived, we enjoyed playing in the pool that has a water road.
They also have aplayground with many water slides.
In addition, there was a beautiful beach nearby, so we could do a sand play.
My daughters and I made a big sand castle that block the sea water.
We spent around three hours in the beach.
For our dinner, we ate some cup noodles that my wife packed in Korea.
Because I want beers and more food, my wife and I went to the ABC store nearby, and we bought many snacks and beers.
After a long time, I contacted with Dr. MJ, and he said ¡°there are many serious problems in the clinic lately. But, I hope you to enjoy the vacation.¡±
Since I heard of it, I felt so bad.
I think he was not a social man.
However, I have no choice.
See you

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Dr. Kim!

I think this hotel that you are in right now is top class! As it is a Disney Hotel, the amenities are well-maintained and your satisfaction is guaranteed. Your daughters seems to the best time ever.  I am sure, there are more thing to see and discover in this place. I heard from your wife that you went snorkeling today. How was it? Did your daughters snorkel too? Tell me about it.

Anyway, since you are a few days away going back to Korea, pray that Dr. MJ did a good job in managing the staff in your clinic. Maybe, it's not going to be perfect but at least, you had your vacation to charge up your working mood. Perhaps, you can go back to your good memories of Hawaii when problems arise again in your office.

I'm not keeping you long to read my suggestions. The grammar points were either underlined or deleted. Kindly read them below.

Then, have a wonderful under the sun today!

See you soon!

-T. Donna~

Hello, T. Donna.
>> Correct!

It¡¯s Sunday night.
>> Correct!

Now we have only two other night in Hawaii.
>> Now we have only two other nights in Hawaii.

As you know, we moved to another hotel named Disney resort.
>> Correct!

This hotel has a special concept;Disney characters like Miki mouse, Donald duck, and so on.
>> Correct!
Or: This hotel has a special concept; Disney characters like Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, and so on.

After we arrived, we enjoyed playing in the pool that has a water road.
>> Correct!

They also have aplayground with many water slides.
>> Correct!
Or: They also have a playground with many water slides.

In addition, there was a beautiful beach nearby, so we could do a sand play.
>> Correct!
Or: In addition, there was a beautiful beach nearby, so we could play with the sand.

My daughters and I made a big sand castle that block the sea water.
>>  My daughters and I made a big sand castle that blocked the sea water.

We spent around three hours in the beach.
>> Correct!

For our dinner, we ate some cup noodles that my wife packed in Korea.
>> Correct!

Because I want beers and more food, my wife and I went to the ABC store nearby, and we bought many snacks and beers.
>> Correct!
Or: Because I want beer and more food, my wife and I went to the ABC store nearby, and we bought many snacks and beer.
 
After a long time, I contacted with Dr. MJ, and he said ¡°there are many serious problems in the clinic lately. But, I hope you to enjoy the vacation.¡±
>> After a long time, I contacted Dr. MJ, and he said, ¡°There are many serious problems in the clinic lately, but, I hope you to enjoy the vacation.¡±

Since I heard of it, I felt so bad.
>> Correct!

I think he was not a social man.
>> Correct!

However, I have no choice.
>> Correct!

See you
>> See you.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
123317 10.31.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-01 3
123316 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-31 2185
123315 Healthy ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-31 1972
123314 what is the most memorable celebration? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-10-31 3
123313 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-31 0
123312 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-31 14
123311 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-31 1655
123310 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-31 1635
123309 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-31 1930
123308 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-31 1570
123307 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-10-31 2
123306 Do you think the weather affects how we feel? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-31 1506
123305 Name some of the tourist attractions in your city. Tell me more... ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-10-31 1844
123304 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-31 0
123303 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-10-31 0
123302 What factors may result in the breakdown of a good friendship? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-31 1032
123301 Monday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-31 1283
123300 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-31 1
123299 Decision ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-31 1
123298 . ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-31 1084

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04