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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Homework

작성자: 김*우
2022-12-12 553

회원님의 영작문

Hello, T. Donna.
It’s Sunday night.
Now we have only two other night in Hawaii.
As you know, we moved to another hotel named Disney resort.
This hotel has a special concept;Disney characters like Miki mouse, Donald duck, and so on.
After we arrived, we enjoyed playing in the pool that has a water road.
They also have aplayground with many water slides.
In addition, there was a beautiful beach nearby, so we could do a sand play.
My daughters and I made a big sand castle that block the sea water.
We spent around three hours in the beach.
For our dinner, we ate some cup noodles that my wife packed in Korea.
Because I want beers and more food, my wife and I went to the ABC store nearby, and we bought many snacks and beers.
After a long time, I contacted with Dr. MJ, and he said “there are many serious problems in the clinic lately. But, I hope you to enjoy the vacation.”
Since I heard of it, I felt so bad.
I think he was not a social man.
However, I have no choice.
See you

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good day, Dr. Kim!

I think this hotel that you are in right now is top class! As it is a Disney Hotel, the amenities are well-maintained and your satisfaction is guaranteed. Your daughters seems to the best time ever.  I am sure, there are more thing to see and discover in this place. I heard from your wife that you went snorkeling today. How was it? Did your daughters snorkel too? Tell me about it.

Anyway, since you are a few days away going back to Korea, pray that Dr. MJ did a good job in managing the staff in your clinic. Maybe, it's not going to be perfect but at least, you had your vacation to charge up your working mood. Perhaps, you can go back to your good memories of Hawaii when problems arise again in your office.

I'm not keeping you long to read my suggestions. The grammar points were either underlined or deleted. Kindly read them below.

Then, have a wonderful under the sun today!

See you soon!

-T. Donna~

Hello, T. Donna.
>> Correct!

It’s Sunday night.
>> Correct!

Now we have only two other night in Hawaii.
>> Now we have only two other nights in Hawaii.

As you know, we moved to another hotel named Disney resort.
>> Correct!

This hotel has a special concept;Disney characters like Miki mouse, Donald duck, and so on.
>> Correct!
Or: This hotel has a special concept; Disney characters like Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, and so on.

After we arrived, we enjoyed playing in the pool that has a water road.
>> Correct!

They also have aplayground with many water slides.
>> Correct!
Or: They also have a playground with many water slides.

In addition, there was a beautiful beach nearby, so we could do a sand play.
>> Correct!
Or: In addition, there was a beautiful beach nearby, so we could play with the sand.

My daughters and I made a big sand castle that block the sea water.
>>  My daughters and I made a big sand castle that blocked the sea water.

We spent around three hours in the beach.
>> Correct!

For our dinner, we ate some cup noodles that my wife packed in Korea.
>> Correct!

Because I want beers and more food, my wife and I went to the ABC store nearby, and we bought many snacks and beers.
>> Correct!
Or: Because I want beer and more food, my wife and I went to the ABC store nearby, and we bought many snacks and beer.
 
After a long time, I contacted with Dr. MJ, and he said “there are many serious problems in the clinic lately. But, I hope you to enjoy the vacation.”
>> After a long time, I contacted Dr. MJ, and he said, “There are many serious problems in the clinic lately, but, I hope you to enjoy the vacation.”

Since I heard of it, I felt so bad.
>> Correct!

I think he was not a social man.
>> Correct!

However, I have no choice.
>> Correct!

See you
>> See you.
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