¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2022-12-12 640

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hello, T. Donna.
It¡¯s Sunday night.
Now we have only two other night in Hawaii.
As you know, we moved to another hotel named Disney resort.
This hotel has a special concept;Disney characters like Miki mouse, Donald duck, and so on.
After we arrived, we enjoyed playing in the pool that has a water road.
They also have aplayground with many water slides.
In addition, there was a beautiful beach nearby, so we could do a sand play.
My daughters and I made a big sand castle that block the sea water.
We spent around three hours in the beach.
For our dinner, we ate some cup noodles that my wife packed in Korea.
Because I want beers and more food, my wife and I went to the ABC store nearby, and we bought many snacks and beers.
After a long time, I contacted with Dr. MJ, and he said ¡°there are many serious problems in the clinic lately. But, I hope you to enjoy the vacation.¡±
Since I heard of it, I felt so bad.
I think he was not a social man.
However, I have no choice.
See you

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Dr. Kim!

I think this hotel that you are in right now is top class! As it is a Disney Hotel, the amenities are well-maintained and your satisfaction is guaranteed. Your daughters seems to the best time ever.  I am sure, there are more thing to see and discover in this place. I heard from your wife that you went snorkeling today. How was it? Did your daughters snorkel too? Tell me about it.

Anyway, since you are a few days away going back to Korea, pray that Dr. MJ did a good job in managing the staff in your clinic. Maybe, it's not going to be perfect but at least, you had your vacation to charge up your working mood. Perhaps, you can go back to your good memories of Hawaii when problems arise again in your office.

I'm not keeping you long to read my suggestions. The grammar points were either underlined or deleted. Kindly read them below.

Then, have a wonderful under the sun today!

See you soon!

-T. Donna~

Hello, T. Donna.
>> Correct!

It¡¯s Sunday night.
>> Correct!

Now we have only two other night in Hawaii.
>> Now we have only two other nights in Hawaii.

As you know, we moved to another hotel named Disney resort.
>> Correct!

This hotel has a special concept;Disney characters like Miki mouse, Donald duck, and so on.
>> Correct!
Or: This hotel has a special concept; Disney characters like Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, and so on.

After we arrived, we enjoyed playing in the pool that has a water road.
>> Correct!

They also have aplayground with many water slides.
>> Correct!
Or: They also have a playground with many water slides.

In addition, there was a beautiful beach nearby, so we could do a sand play.
>> Correct!
Or: In addition, there was a beautiful beach nearby, so we could play with the sand.

My daughters and I made a big sand castle that block the sea water.
>>  My daughters and I made a big sand castle that blocked the sea water.

We spent around three hours in the beach.
>> Correct!

For our dinner, we ate some cup noodles that my wife packed in Korea.
>> Correct!

Because I want beers and more food, my wife and I went to the ABC store nearby, and we bought many snacks and beers.
>> Correct!
Or: Because I want beer and more food, my wife and I went to the ABC store nearby, and we bought many snacks and beer.
 
After a long time, I contacted with Dr. MJ, and he said ¡°there are many serious problems in the clinic lately. But, I hope you to enjoy the vacation.¡±
>> After a long time, I contacted Dr. MJ, and he said, ¡°There are many serious problems in the clinic lately, but, I hope you to enjoy the vacation.¡±

Since I heard of it, I felt so bad.
>> Correct!

I think he was not a social man.
>> Correct!

However, I have no choice.
>> Correct!

See you
>> See you.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
122310 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-14 2299
122309 How My Parents Maintain a Good Health ±è*¿í ¿Ï·á 2022-09-14 622
122308 Do you think it¡¯s necessary to preserve traditions? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-14 1315
122307 Some topics I avoid when I talk with someone for the first time ¾È*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-14 2552
122306 What was one idea you learned from the drama Narco Saints? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-09-14 2
122305 9/13 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-09-14 1316
122304 what do you think of a career in the army? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-14 1300
122303 Book ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-13 952
122302 9/13 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-13 1213
122301 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-13 1106
122300 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-13 1133
122299 What do you want to do next year? Why? ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-13 4
122298 What do you like most about celebrating Cheusok? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-13 1406
122297 What are the good and bad things about traveling? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-13 1069
122296 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-09-13 2
122295 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-13 1078
122294 How to stop fake news. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-09-13 1416
122293 What are you looking forward to most this coming holiday? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-13 1322
122292 Social media is very easy to be addicted ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-13 0
122291 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-13 1037

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04