¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Should students be required to wear school uniforms? Why or why not? What are the advantages and dis

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½Å*¼·
2022-12-10 1623

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Well, I believe that it doesn't need to wear school uniforms, because it's important to make up for the freedom and expression of individuals nowadays. But I guess there are positive things and negative things. First, good things are that we can feel being the one with sense of belonging to the community. Also, you can get a various benefits. On the other hand, thing as we talked with book during class, it may crease violent attacks. And it can infringe on individuals' freedom of expression.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Nice work, Elic! These sentences show your understanding of our topic about school uniforms last time. You were able to tell the good and bad sides or beneficial and harmful sides of wearing school uniforms. Please review the corrections I have placed here. Thank you so much! Keep up the good work!

- Teacher Raven 

Well, I believe that it doesn't need to wear school uniforms, because it's important to make up for the freedom and expression of individuals nowadays.
>> Well, I believe that there is no need to wear school uniforms because it's important to consider every individual's freedom of expression nowadays.
But I guess there are positive things and negative things.
>> Correct.
First, good things are that we can feel being the one with sense of belonging to the community.
>> One of the good things about it is that one can feel the sense of belongingness to his community.
Also, you can get a various benefits.
>> Also, you can get various benefits.
On the other hand, thing as we talked with book during class, it may crease violent attacks.
>> On the other hand, it may increase violent attacks just like what we talked about with the book during our class.
And it can infringe on individuals' freedom of expression.
>> It may also infringe an individual's freedom of expression.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
120954 please check my sentence. ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-21 507
120953 Do they deserve the same level of treatment that we offer to... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-21 536
120952 Foregin workers ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-21 1609
120951 homework Àå*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-21 354
120950 When you treat yourself with food, what do you eat? Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-21 2
120949 Movie Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-21 3
120948 How much do you care about the clothes you wear? Who do you... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-21 340
120947 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-21 1
120946 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-21 445
120945 Homework for 07.20.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-21 4
120944 Toy ³ë*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-21 337
120943 Which one do you think is better, getting married early or... ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-07-21 0
120942 Do you think parents nowadays are different from parents in the... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-07-21 229
120941 7/20 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 2507
120940 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 270
120939 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 1
120938 Are you good with money? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 220
120937 Writing Task(Jul 15th, 2022) ³²*½Â ÁøÇàÁß 2022-07-20 209
120936 Please check my sentence. thanks ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 320
120935 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04