무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

obesity in Korea

작성자: 김*문
2022-12-08 1339

회원님의 영작문

Obesity is serious problem in Korea. When the Korean civil war was happened, there was nothing to eat. So, food was very precious and people obsessed about eating. So, the old think that eating all of the cuisine that host offered to guest is moral behavior. And they try to give too much food to their grandchildren considering eating well relates to growing up. It causes children obesity. And, there are various snacks and cuisines now. Most people have to eat meal and snacks as desserts. Whenever I meet my friends, we usually go to restaurants and cafes which are famous in SNS like instagram and facebook. Also, the working culture contributes to adult obesity. Having dining together after they finish working is one of the culture in company. They eat fatty food like pork and fried chicken until late night with alcohol. Irregular life cycle and sitting most hours of day strengthen the healthy problem. That's why we can find BMI chart whenever we go to the hospital.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Thank you for this Mary!

Obesity is serious problem in Korea. 
>>> Obesity is a serious problem in Korea.   
When the Korean civil war was happened, there was nothing to eat. 
>>> When the Korean civil war happened, there was nothing to eat.   
So, food was very precious and people obsessed about eating. 
>>>  So, food was very precious and people were obsessed about eating.  
So, the old think that eating all of the cuisine that host offered to guest is moral behavior. 
>>> So, the old think that eating all of the cuisine that the host offered to a guest is a moral behavior. 
>>> OR: Therefore, old people think that eating all of the dishes the host offered to a guest is a polite behavior.   
And they try to give too much food to their grandchildren considering eating well relates to growing up. 
>>> correct  
It causes children obesity. 
>>> correct  
And, there are various snacks and cuisines now. 
>>> correct  
Most people have to eat meal and snacks as desserts. 
>>> correct    
Whenever I meet my friends, we usually go to restaurants and cafes which are famous in SNS like instagram and facebook. 
>>> correct     
Also, the working culture contributes to adult obesity. 
>>> correct  
Having dining together after they finish working is one of the culture in company. 
>>>  Having dinner together after they finish working is one of the culture in most companies. 
They eat fatty food like pork and fried chicken until late night with alcohol. 
>>>  correct   
Irregular life cycle and sitting most hours of day strengthen the healthy problem. 
>>> Irregular life cycle and sitting most hours of the day worsen the health problem.   
That's why we can find BMI chart whenever we go to the hospital.
>>> correct    
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
120240 [Homework] Q. What was your favorite essay? 최*미 완료 2022-06-28 3
120239 How can you misinterpret someone’s body language? 이*명 완료 2022-06-28 2
120238 How long does it take you to feel comfortable with a new person? 박*연 완료 2022-06-28 613
120237 What do you think are some health care problems in your country? 박*연 완료 2022-06-28 314
120236 your child 권*희 완료 2022-06-28 654
120235 Homework 함*주 완료 2022-06-28 1
120234 Q 홍*희 완료 2022-06-28 658
120233 Is there a drama that you will never watch? 박*연 완료 2022-06-28 534
120232 Do you spend a lot of money buying clothes? / What are the most... 박*현 완료 2022-06-28 1
120231 Homework 장*희 완료 2022-06-28 435
120230 What is the scariest story that you know? 신*섭 완료 2022-06-28 249
120229 What is a memorable food that you ate in a different country? 김*규 완료 2022-06-27 3
120228 The discovery of fire. 김*윤 완료 2022-06-27 254
120227 IELTS part2 함*리 완료 2022-06-27 2
120226 6/27 HOMEWORK 이*유 완료 2022-06-27 267
120225 What are the advantages and disadvantages of living in a small... 김*빈 완료 2022-06-27 615
120224 Homework 권*미 완료 2022-06-27 0
120223 What was your dream job when you were young? 한*미 완료 2022-06-27 426
120222 What’s the best way to stop being bored? Answer in 5 sentences... 김*빈 완료 2022-06-27 473
120221 Homework 김*준 완료 2022-06-27 299

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]