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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
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Homework

작성자: 김*우
2022-12-08 1196

회원님의 영작문

Hi, T.Donna.
It’s an another exciting day.
After your class, we went to the city, and drank some coffees with delicious breads.
There’s been a great event.
Some foreigners(maybe they are couple) gave us a tube for free.
I didn’t understand what they meant first, however, after they said “We are leaving now. Just take it. We don’t want it anymore.”, I could receive their present.
And, in the cookie shop, the clerk gave us extra cookies for free.
Thus, I felt so good.
In this evening, this hotel offered us many drinks, beers, and snacks for free.
And, some old foreign couple started a conversation with us.
They live in California, and their origin were from India.
They wanted to talk with us and contact with our daughters because they came up with old memories with their daughter.
I thought they seemed to be rich, since they said that they liked to travel and they have been many countries.
They said they hoped to see us again.
Maybe we can meet again tomorrow.
See you~

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello, Dr. Kim!

Indeed, it was another interesting and exciting day for you and your family! From coffee and bread, freebies, and meeting new people, your English has given you so many opportunities to connect with other culture along with your family. I am certain that your wife and children can see the value of speaking in English because it's a totally awesome language. Since you speak fluently, all of these experiences are possible.

So after a seemingly being  'scammed' in your upgraded room experience, they gave you a lot of free food and drinks in the hotel. This sounds like a great compensation after giving you the room upgrade.  Since your daughters are very cute,  they also get freebies such as cookies and other goodies! Even I would be very delighted to see three pretty girls just enjoying their vacation. 

Well, I am sure that you will meet more people when you smile and just stay open for communication. As Hawaii is an expensive vacation place, expect that all you meet there are rich poeople just like you. So, speak clearly, kindly, and confidently.

My grammar suggestions are some deleted words, correct plural forms of nouns, and correct punctuation. Please read them carefully below. Well done on this homework answer!

I shall see you soon.

-T. Donna~

Hi, T.Donna.
>> Correct!

It’s an another exciting day.
>> It’s another exciting day.

After your class, we went to the city, and drank some coffees with delicious breads.
>> After your class, we went to the city, and drank some coffee with delicious bread.

There’s been a great event.
>> Correct!

Some foreigners(maybe they are couple) gave us a tube for free.
>> Some foreigners(maybe they are a couple) gave us a tube for free.

I didn’t understand what they meant first, however, after they said “We are leaving now. Just take it. We don’t want it anymore.”, I could receive their present.
>> Correct! 
Or:  I didn’t understand what they meant first, however, after they said, “We are leaving now. Just take it. We don’t want it anymore.”, I could receive their present. (Insert a comma.)

And, in the cookie shop, the clerk gave us extra cookies for free.
>> Correct!

Thus, I felt so good.
>> Correct!

In this evening, this hotel offered us many drinks, beers, and snacks for free.
>> (In the/ This evening, this hotel offered us many drinks, beer, and snacks for free.

And, some old foreign couple started a conversation with us.
>> Correct!

They live in California, and their origin were from India.
>> They live in California, and their origin is in India.

They wanted to talk with us and contact with our daughters because they came up with old memories with their daughter.
>> They wanted to talk with us and contact our daughters because they came up with old memories of their daughter.

I thought they seemed to be rich, since they said that they liked to travel and they have been many countries.
>> I thought they seemed to be rich, since they said that they liked to travel and they have been in many countries.

They said they hoped to see us again.
>> Correct!

Maybe we can meet again tomorrow.
>> Correct!

See you~
>> Correct!
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