¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What computer games do you think is popular among people your age?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¹®
2022-12-05 894

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Computer games are important for teenagers because they consider as way to get along with friends. Actually, teenagers or 20s(male) usually go to PC room when they meet friends. Also, they become closer even though they are awkward. So, computer games that can play with multiple are popular. Furthermore, people in my age love competition games. There should be winner and loser. It stimulates their self-esteem, so they play games for over 5 hours to go higher and higher. No one want to get behind with their game ranks. That's why most games show people's ranking. At last, people usually do games to relieve their stress. They want to get out of the reality and find more sensational methods. When they shot a gun and attack someone, they feel cool and refresh. Also, they delude themselves as strong and powerful people. It leads people to buy expensive items. Especially, people usually love game youtuber who spend much money buying rare items.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Thank you for this Mary!

Computer games are important for teenagers because they consider as way to get along with friends. 
>>>   Computer games are important for teenagers because they consider it as a way to get along with friends. 
Actually, teenagers or 20s(male) usually go to PC room when they meet friends.
>>>  correct  
Also, they become closer even though they are awkward. 
>>>   correct  
So, computer games that can play with multiple are popular. 
>>>  So, computer games that can be played with multiple players are popular.  
Furthermore, people in my age love competition games. 
>>>   correct 
There should be winner and loser.
>>There should be a winner and a loser.  
It stimulates their self-esteem, so they play games for over 5 hours to go higher and higher. 
>>>   correct  
No one want to get behind with their game ranks. 
>>No one wants to be behind with their game ranks.   
That's why most games show people's ranking. 
>>>   correct  
At last, people usually do games to relieve their stress. 
>>>   correct  
They want to get out of the reality and find more sensational methods. 
>>>   correct  
When they shot a gun and attack someone, they feel cool and refresh. 
>>>   When they shot a gun and attack someone, they feel cool and refreshed.
Also, they delude themselves as strong and powerful people. 
>>>   correct   
It leads people to buy expensive items. 
>>>   correct   
Especially, people usually love game youtuber who spend much money buying rare items.
>>>  Especially, people usually love game youtubers who spend much money buying rare items. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
123918 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-01 1
123917 What\'s the best way to get to the library? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-01 1
123916 What is your first reaction to problems? Do you panic/ analyze... Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-12-01 1472
123915 What do you do to improve your health nowadays? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-12-01 0
123914 11/30 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-12-01 860
123913 The problem with traveling by airplane. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-11-30 1137
123912 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-30 0
123911 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-30 0
123910 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-30 1837
123909 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-30 910
123908 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-30 703
123907 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-11-30 2
123906 What themes have fascinated artists most through time? Why are... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-30 926
123905 Homework (11/25) ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-30 2
123904 What are the bad sides of being overweight? What are the things... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-11-30 1354
123903 Use the following words in sentences ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-11-30 1550
123902 Homework (11/30) ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-30 6
123901 Airplanes are very important. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-11-30 697
123900 HOMEWORK: How much free time do you spend on the net? Would you... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2022-11-30 1
123899 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-30 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04