¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What computer games do you think is popular among people your age?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¹®
2022-12-05 1090

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Computer games are important for teenagers because they consider as way to get along with friends. Actually, teenagers or 20s(male) usually go to PC room when they meet friends. Also, they become closer even though they are awkward. So, computer games that can play with multiple are popular. Furthermore, people in my age love competition games. There should be winner and loser. It stimulates their self-esteem, so they play games for over 5 hours to go higher and higher. No one want to get behind with their game ranks. That's why most games show people's ranking. At last, people usually do games to relieve their stress. They want to get out of the reality and find more sensational methods. When they shot a gun and attack someone, they feel cool and refresh. Also, they delude themselves as strong and powerful people. It leads people to buy expensive items. Especially, people usually love game youtuber who spend much money buying rare items.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Thank you for this Mary!

Computer games are important for teenagers because they consider as way to get along with friends. 
>>>   Computer games are important for teenagers because they consider it as a way to get along with friends. 
Actually, teenagers or 20s(male) usually go to PC room when they meet friends.
>>>  correct  
Also, they become closer even though they are awkward. 
>>>   correct  
So, computer games that can play with multiple are popular. 
>>>  So, computer games that can be played with multiple players are popular.  
Furthermore, people in my age love competition games. 
>>>   correct 
There should be winner and loser.
>>There should be a winner and a loser.  
It stimulates their self-esteem, so they play games for over 5 hours to go higher and higher. 
>>>   correct  
No one want to get behind with their game ranks. 
>>No one wants to be behind with their game ranks.   
That's why most games show people's ranking. 
>>>   correct  
At last, people usually do games to relieve their stress. 
>>>   correct  
They want to get out of the reality and find more sensational methods. 
>>>   correct  
When they shot a gun and attack someone, they feel cool and refresh. 
>>>   When they shot a gun and attack someone, they feel cool and refreshed.
Also, they delude themselves as strong and powerful people. 
>>>   correct   
It leads people to buy expensive items. 
>>>   correct   
Especially, people usually love game youtuber who spend much money buying rare items.
>>>  Especially, people usually love game youtubers who spend much money buying rare items. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
126631 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-03-17 1
126630 tia ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-17 610
126629 Travel to eat something delicious. ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-17 1
126628 Which bad habit of yours do you think would be the most... Àå*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-03-17 1592
126627 3.17 Homework ¹Ú*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-17 821
126626 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-17 1
126625 what is your favorite international movie and why? ±è*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-17 1065
126624 3/17 homework ÃÖ*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-17 1109
126623 Cherry blossoms ±Ç*ÀÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-17 1
126622 Homework ±è*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-03-17 826
126621 What do you think is the most terrible eye disease? ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-17 0
126620 Amazon ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-17 639
126619 The most important thing I¡¦ ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-03-17 716
126618 What comes to mind whenever you hear the phrase \'cherry... ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-03-16 690
126617 What springs to mind when you hear the word \'perfect\'? ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-03-16 786
126616 Cyber bullying. Á¶*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-16 1
126615 If I am going to collect. ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-03-16 658
126614 my english lesson À±*¼º ¿Ï·á 2023-03-16 1000
126613 3/15 homework °­*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-16 975
126612 Should children have curfew? Why or why not? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-03-16 931

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04