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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Make a story about soccer games.

작성자: 김*율
2022-12-05 775

회원님의 영작문

In some place that is just like earth, there was the world cup going on, like earth. That place was called the Tercies Socity (T.S.) with makes new worlds seceretly. They had a famous player named Mr.AX (who was team A), and the opponent was an equally famous one; Mrs.BX ( she owned team B). The two people had their supporting team players, team A players, and team B players. Ooh! The coach says that I can explain the game. Now I'm connected to the radio. "(Buzzing), (Crackling)! Sorry, my dear ladys and gents. Now, the T.S. world cup is on live! Who'll win? ^^ Oh! Mr.AX's team the team is 99.9% winning 'cause they are winning at rate 9 to 5! Eh?! What? the Mrs.BX team has scored 3 goals in a brief second? How astonishing and cool. One more goal in any other team, Mr.AX's team is going to lose either win! Ooh! Aah! A team has kick it RIGHT INTO THE.. goalkeeper's hand? When the A team is in despair, B team kicks it in a swift motion, GOAL! the B team wins." To be continued........ ^^

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello Heather, good day to you! A nice story you have here. I commend your time and effort as well as your creativity for making your story about soccer. Keep up the good work. I'll see you in class.~ T. Lyn
In some place that is just like earth, there was the world cup going on, like earth. 
>>The Earth-like World Cup was being held in a place like the Earth.
That place was called the Tercies Socity (T.S.) with makes new worlds seceretly.
>>The place was called Tercies Society (T.S.) which secretly creates new worlds.
They had a famous player named Mr.AX (who was team A), and the opponent was an equally famous one; Mrs.BX ( she owned team B). 
>>They had a famous player name Mr. AX (Team A) and their opponent was equally famous, Mrs. BX, who owned Team B. 
The two people had their supporting team players, team A players, and team B players. 
>>These two people had their supporting team players, team A players and team B players.
Ooh! The coach says that I can explain the game. 
>>Correct.
Now I'm connected to the radio. 
>>Iam now connected to the radio.
"(Buzzing), (Crackling)! 
>>Correct.
Sorry, my dear ladys and gents. 
>>Sorry, dear ladies and gentelmen.
Now, the T.S. world cup is on live!
>>Correct.
 Who'll win? ^^
>>Correct.
Oh! Mr.AX's team the team is 99.9% winning 'cause they are winning at rate 9 to 5!
>>Oh! Mr. AX's team has 99.9% win rate because they are winning by a 9 to 5 ration!
Eh?! What? the Mrs.BX team has scored 3 goals in a brief second? 
>>"Eh, what?" Mrs. BX's team scored 3 goals in a short time?
How astonishing and cool. 
>>How astonishing and cool it was.
One more goal in any other team, Mr.AX's team is going to lose either win! 
>>Just one more goal from the other team and Mr. AX's team's going to win or lose.
Ooh! Aah! A team has kick it RIGHT INTO THE.. goalkeeper's hand? 
>>"Oh, ah!" One team kucked right into the hands of the goalkeeper?
When the A team is in despair, B team kicks it in a swift motion, GOAL! 
>>When Team A fell into despair, Team B quickly kicked the ball and made a goal.
the B team wins." 
>>Team B won the game.
To be continued.
>>Correct.
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첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
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03
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