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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Homework

작성자: 김*우
2022-12-05 644

회원님의 영작문

Hello, T.Donna.
I had a good time today.
After our class with you, my family and I went to the artificial lake which consisted of the sea water.
And we rented a ‘Kayak’ for one hour.
It was funny, so we enjoyed it.
Suddenly, it rained too much, so we stayed some place that had a roof for a while, and at that time, I bought hot dogs in the food truck.
The hot dog’s sausage was very salty, but delicious, so we were done eating for a wink of time.
Since the rain stopped, we moved to ‘paradise pool’ in the hotel, and we swam.
The pool had a small water slide, so my daughters enjoyed it so much.
Next, we saw a beautiful sunset.
There were many events; special wedding, traditional performance and so on.
Actually, we didn’t join the events today, nontheless, we just liked to see those things.
For our supper, I ordered the ‘Surf and Turf’ which included steaks, shrimps, vegetables, and rices.
It was the most delicious food among the foods that I had in Hawaii by now.
See you.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi there, Dr. Kim!

What a day! I think you are having the best time of your life. I can imagine the water splashing as you board in the kayak with the lovely ladies! I'm still intrigued about the artificial lake on why it is salty. Did you taste the water? Well, it was quite hot when you showed me around the island so, in that case, rain is certain. Most probably, this is going to be your activity for the next 10 days. Hence, feel rejuvenated by feeling just like a child like your kids.

One of the most beautiful gifts of nature is the sunset. It's fascinating! After all, it's the simple things that give us joy-this is the point of a vacation. Our lives are so complex everyday. A vacation simplifies it.  At the end of the day, your family is the reason of all of your hard work. So, enjoy every moment, every minute.

Here on your composition, you made very good attempts to make your sentences longer. Moreover, your adjectives were effective to describe your activities as well as verbs in telling your actions. Overall, you did an excellent job on this writing.

See you at mid-afternoon in Hawaii!

-T. Donna~

Hello, T.Donna.
>> Correct!

I had a good time today.
>> Correct!

After our class with you, my family and I went to the artificial lake which consisted of the sea water.
>> Correct!

And we rented a ‘Kayak’ for one hour.
>> Correct!

It was funny, so we enjoyed it.
>> It was fun, so we enjoyed it.

Suddenly, it rained too much, so we stayed some place that had a roof for a while, and at that time, I bought hot dogs in the food truck.
>> Correct!

The hot dog’s sausage was very salty, but delicious, so we were done eating for a wink of time.
>> Correct!

Since the rain stopped, we moved to ‘paradise pool’ in the hotel, and we swam.
>> Since the rain stopped, we moved to the ‘paradise pool’ in the hotel, and we swam.

The pool had a small water slide, so my daughters enjoyed it so much.
>> Correct!

Next, we saw a beautiful sunset.
>> Next, we saw the beautiful sunset.

There were many events; special wedding, traditional performance and so on.
>> Correct!
Or: There were many events; special wedding, traditional performance, and so on.

Actually, we didn’t join the events today, nontheless, we just liked to see those things.
>> Correct!

For our supper, I ordered the ‘Surf and Turf’ which included steaks, shrimps, vegetables, and rices.
>> Correct!

It was the most delicious food among the foods that I had in Hawaii by now.
>> Correct!
Or: food

See you.
>> Correct!
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