무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

What is the role of nuclear weapons in that future world?

작성자: 황*하
2022-12-02 1092

회원님의 영작문

I think that nuclear weapons are useless in the world because it is just weapon, it can be the thing that protect each country but that is all what it has. We might be facing another world war due to the realationship among the most powerful countries which are Russia, China and USA. They have a previlleage to have nuclear bombs but they don't allow other countries to have it. It doesn't make sense.
Although, major countries ban other countries to possess nuclear weapons, some has tried to test their weapons because they would like to show their strength to the world. It's purpose must be protection of their countries. It should not use for treathening others.
Radiation is really useful in our lives, if we use it in a right way, such as medical purpose or industrial one. It is also the best material to produce electricty with lower expenses. So, I don't want the world to try to develop their nuclear weapon, I want them to invent novel way to use it.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good day, Sir Hwang!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

I think that nuclear weapons are useless in the world because it is just weapon, it can be the thing that protect each country but that is all what it has. 
>> I think that nuclear weapons are useless in the world because it is just a weapon, it can be a thing that protects each country, but that's what it has. 
We might be facing another world war due to the realationship among the most powerful countries which are Russia, China and USA. 
>> We might be facing another world war due to the relationship among the most powerful countries such as Russia, China and the USA. 
They have a previlleage to have nuclear bombs but they don't allow other countries to have it. 
>> They have a privilege to have nuclear bombs but they don't allow other countries to have it. 
It doesn't make sense.
>> CORRECT! 
Although, major countries ban other countries to possess nuclear weapons, some has tried to test their weapons because they would like to show their strength to the world. 
>> Although, major countries ban other countries to possess nuclear weapons, some have tried to test their weapons because they would like to show their strength to the world. 
It's purpose must be protection of their countries. 
>> It's purpose is to protect their countries. 
It should not use for treathening others.
>> It should not be used for threatening others.
Radiation is really useful in our lives, if we use it in a right way, such as medical purpose or industrial one. 
>> Radiation is really useful in our lives, if we use it in the right way, such as medical purpose or industrial purpose. 
It is also the best material to produce electricty with lower expenses. 
>> It is also the best material to produce electricity with lower expenses. 
So, I don't want the world to try to develop their nuclear weapon, I want them to invent novel way to use it.
>> So, I don't want the world to try to develop their nuclear weapon, I want them to invent a noble way to use it.
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
129082 homework: Advertisement 공*우 완료 2023-06-26 2442
129081 Homework 함*주 완료 2023-06-26 1
129080 Do you think the design or arrangement of your room or house is... 김*호 완료 2023-06-26 2320
129079 DIRECTIONS: Fill in the blanks. 임*지 완료 2023-06-26 1999
129078 It fine me. 윤*혜 완료 2023-06-26 3456
129077 HW 송*민 완료 2023-06-26 1
129076 They agree with me. 윤*혜 완료 2023-06-26 2581
129075 writing exercise 서*택 완료 2023-06-26 2346
129074 How does organization and decluttering contribute to a peaceful... 송*라 완료 2023-06-26 1
129073 season food 민*정 완료 2023-06-26 1
129072 Homework 송*준 완료 2023-06-26 3446
129071 Homework 신*화 완료 2023-06-26 2881
129070   If you could have it your way, how would you like to... 반* 완료 2023-06-26 2335
129069 Writing task 안*형 완료 2023-06-26 1819
129068 What kind of second job do you want to have? 박*경 완료 2023-06-26 3110
129067 Homework 이*진 완료 2023-06-26 2047
129066 Homework 이*진 완료 2023-06-26 1993
129065 Homework 홍*선 완료 2023-06-26 1
129064 Homework 신*화 완료 2023-06-26 2314
129063 How can you say that a country has a good leader? 김*규 완료 2023-06-26 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]