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서비스 입니다.

Do you support the Seoul Metro workers going on strike?

작성자: 황*하
2022-12-02 746

회원님의 영작문

I don't fully agree what stricke participants claimed but I can understand why they went on strike. As one of the employees, it is almost impossible to voice their requests to leader's group. Labor union is only group which support members in the company and can be the representative to negotiate with C-levels. Freedom of assembly and association is basic element in democratic country. It is guaranteed by the national law. Korea is well known that people work a lot. We believe that they would be the role models, if people who stay in the company longer than others. There has been small changes of business culture. Young people pursue the better work and life balance. They would spend their free time to do what they like rather than make money by doing overtime work. Although, young people follow new ideology, our society hasn't changed dramatically. In addition, many companies reduced the number of workers as the automatic machines have introduced. It is also effective to reduce expen

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good day, Sir Hwang!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille
I don't fully agree what stricke participants claimed but I can understand why they went on strike. 
>> I don't fully agree what strike participants claimed but I can understand why they went on a strike. 
As one of the employees, it is almost impossible to voice their requests to leader's group. 
>> As one of the employees, it is almost impossible to voice out their requests to leader's group. 
Labor union is only group which support members in the company and can be the representative to negotiate with C-levels. 
>> Labor union is the only group which support members in the company and can be the representative to negotiate with C-levels. 
Freedom of assembly and association is basic element in democratic country. 
>> Freedom of assembly and association is the basic element in a democratic country. 
It is guaranteed by the national law. 
>> CORRECT! 
Korea is well known that people work a lot. 
>> Korea is well known for people working a lot. 
We believe that they would be the role models, if people who stay in the company longer than others.
>> We believe that they would be the role models, if people stay in the company longer than the others.
There has been small changes of business culture. 
>> There have been some small changes in the business culture. 
Young people pursue the better work and life balance.
>> Young people pursue better work and life balance.
 They would spend their free time to do what they like rather than make money by doing overtime work. 
>> CORRECT! 
Although, young people follow new ideology, our society hasn't changed dramatically. 
>> CORRECT! 
In addition, many companies reduced the number of workers as the automatic machines have introduced. 
>> In addition, many companies reduced the number of workers as the automatic machines have been introduced. 
It is also effective to reduce expen
>> It is also effective to reduce expenses in labor.
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