¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What is your first reaction to problems? Do you panic/ analyze it/ run to someone to talk and get he

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Àü*ä
2022-12-01 1615

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If I have some problems, First I try to avoid the panic state and get some rest.
I would one step back, Analyzing the problems and thinkink about the solutions.
Nevertheless, I couldn't have a solution I might talk to someone to get help.
It's not shameful behavior. I think, independent person is not that to slove all the problems myself.
Independent person know their situation exactly and they can ask for the help to someone easily.
It is more important to act to solve the problem.
It could be help to level up for me and I could get some good experience and skills.
Then I can solve another coming problems and even I can help someone.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Eun Chae!
Thank you so much for doing your homework every day.  In making sentences, make sure that you don't have two verbs together.  Use prepositions like "to" or a conjunction which is "and" to connect their meanings in your sentences.  Always check your spelling, punctuation marks, and capitalization.  Read your corrections every day. ^^



~T. Maine


If I have some problems, 
First I try to avoid the panic state and get some rest.
>> If I have some problems, first I try to avoid the panic state and get some rest. 
I would one step back, Analyzing the problems and thinkink about the solutions.
>> I would be one step back from analyzing the problems and thinking about the solutions. 
Nevertheless, I couldn't have a s
olution I might talk to someone to get help.
>> Nevertheless, if I couldn't have a solution, I might talk to someone to get help. 
It's not shameful behavior. 
>> Correct.  
I think, independent person is not that to slove all the problems myself.
>> I think an independent person does not need to solve all the problems himself. 
Independent person know their situation exactly and they can ask for the help to someone easily.
>> An independent person knows how to react to the situation and they can ask for help to someone easily. 
It is more important to act to solve the problem.
>> It is more important to act in solving the problem. 
It could be help to level up for me and I could get some good experience and skills.
>> It could be helpful for me to level up and I could get some good experiences and skills. 
Then I can solve another coming problems and even I can help someone.
>> Then I can solve the other inevitable problems as well as I can lend a hand to someone. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
121514 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 883
121513 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 585
121512 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 2
121511 homework ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 2
121510 homework ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 1
121509 life expectancy ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 298
121508 Should parents help their children set goals? Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 2
121507 It seeme like a family birthday party. ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 668
121506 Describe a natural disaster that you have experienced in your... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 2
121505 How is elementary education system in America different with... ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 2
121504 What do you love doing with your relatives? ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 841
121503 Make decision Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 1
121502 8/10 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-10 473
121501 Why is helping others important? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-10 450
121500 Do you prefer relaxing weekends doing nothing or active ones? /... ¹Ú*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-10 942
121499 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-10 552
121498 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-10 481
121497 When I wished the rain would stop Á¶*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-08-10 755
121496 If you could change one thing in the world, what would it be? ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-10 519
121495 What is the best way to enjoy Chuseok without spending too much? ±Ç*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-10 556

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04