¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

writing about punishment

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*½Ä
2022-11-28 1036

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

What kind of punishment have you received at school or home?
I have worst experience about punishment at middle school. It's not physical punishment, that was a mental punishment.
When I was a middle school student, my teacher was Christian who had his own office to spread the word of Jesus.
So, whenever we had a class, he didn't teach us and just shown videos about Jerusalem or made a speech why we believe Jesus Christ.
After school, He still not sent us home. We had to listen his speech for a long time.
At that time, we were so young and couldn't realize if it's right or wrong.

Do you believe in physical punishment? Explain.
I believe sometimes physical punishment is needed and effecive.
First of all, I agree that punishment should be educational and teach the student about what they did, why it's wrong.
But, during the time that they awaked, other students may be harmed again.
So, physical punishment is needed as a way to deter them.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Harry!
I like how specific you are.
Details are always appreciated.
The composition was both full and substantial.^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
I have worst experience about punishment at middle school. 
>> I have the worst experience about punishment in middle school. 
It's not physical punishment, that was a mental punishment.
>> It's not physical punishment, but a mental one.
When I was a middle school student, my teacher was Christian who had his own office to spread the word of Jesus.
>> When I was a middle school student, my teacher was a Christian who had his own office where he spread the word of Jesus.
So, whenever we had a class, he didn't teach us and just shown videos about Jerusalem or made a speech why we believe Jesus Christ.
>> So, whenever we had a class, he didn't teach us and just showed videos about Jerusalem or made a speech why we believe Jesus Christ.
After school, He still not sent us home. 
>> After school, he still didn't send us home. 
We had to listen his speech for a long time.
>> We had to listen to his speech for a long time.
At that time, we were so young and couldn't realize if it's right or wrong.
>> Correct
I believe sometimes physical punishment is needed and effecive.
>> I believe sometimes physical punishment is needed and effective.
First of all, I agree that punishment should be educational and teach the student about what they did, why it's wrong.
>> First of all, I agree that punishment should be educational and should teach the student about what they did wrong and why.
But, during the time that they awaked, other students may be harmed again.
>> However, by the time they realize their mistake, other students may be harmed again.
So, physical punishment is needed as a way to deter them.
>> Correct
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
124108 Do you agree that casual clothes can help students express... ±è*¹® ¿Ï·á 2022-12-12 765
124107 Homework 12/12 °í*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-12-12 6
124106 When do you take the bus? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-12 0
124105 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-12 917
124104 Should people switch to being vegetarian? Why or why not? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-11 880
124103 Is it necessary to study about the space? Why or why not? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-11 732
124102 When you do local or international trips, who do you usually go... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-11 1
124101 Is there a place that you would never go to? Why? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-11 1
124100 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-11 677
124099 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-11 649
124098 Do you plan your day or take it as it comes? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-12-11 0
124097 Do you agree with the statement, ¡°Rejection can make us... Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-11 1
124096 How do you reject something in a polite way? Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-11 2
124095 Car insurance can be expensive and in some countries the number... Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-11 2
124094 Why do we judge women by their appearance more than men? Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-11 1
124093 Need ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-10 2
124092 Homework ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-10 614
124091 Conversation at a coffee shop ¹Ú*¸í ¿Ï·á 2022-12-10 854
124090 Should students be required to wear school uniforms? Why or why... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-12-10 1363
124089 Use the following words in creative sentences ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-12-10 898

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04