¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

writing about punishment

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*½Ä
2022-11-28 1308

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

What kind of punishment have you received at school or home?
I have worst experience about punishment at middle school. It's not physical punishment, that was a mental punishment.
When I was a middle school student, my teacher was Christian who had his own office to spread the word of Jesus.
So, whenever we had a class, he didn't teach us and just shown videos about Jerusalem or made a speech why we believe Jesus Christ.
After school, He still not sent us home. We had to listen his speech for a long time.
At that time, we were so young and couldn't realize if it's right or wrong.

Do you believe in physical punishment? Explain.
I believe sometimes physical punishment is needed and effecive.
First of all, I agree that punishment should be educational and teach the student about what they did, why it's wrong.
But, during the time that they awaked, other students may be harmed again.
So, physical punishment is needed as a way to deter them.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Harry!
I like how specific you are.
Details are always appreciated.
The composition was both full and substantial.^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
I have worst experience about punishment at middle school. 
>> I have the worst experience about punishment in middle school. 
It's not physical punishment, that was a mental punishment.
>> It's not physical punishment, but a mental one.
When I was a middle school student, my teacher was Christian who had his own office to spread the word of Jesus.
>> When I was a middle school student, my teacher was a Christian who had his own office where he spread the word of Jesus.
So, whenever we had a class, he didn't teach us and just shown videos about Jerusalem or made a speech why we believe Jesus Christ.
>> So, whenever we had a class, he didn't teach us and just showed videos about Jerusalem or made a speech why we believe Jesus Christ.
After school, He still not sent us home. 
>> After school, he still didn't send us home. 
We had to listen his speech for a long time.
>> We had to listen to his speech for a long time.
At that time, we were so young and couldn't realize if it's right or wrong.
>> Correct
I believe sometimes physical punishment is needed and effecive.
>> I believe sometimes physical punishment is needed and effective.
First of all, I agree that punishment should be educational and teach the student about what they did, why it's wrong.
>> First of all, I agree that punishment should be educational and should teach the student about what they did wrong and why.
But, during the time that they awaked, other students may be harmed again.
>> However, by the time they realize their mistake, other students may be harmed again.
So, physical punishment is needed as a way to deter them.
>> Correct
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
127064 Dear Queeny, ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-31 3
127063 Emotions ±Ç*ÀÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-31 1
127062 Hello. ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-03-31 2
127061 Skin deep! ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-03-31 894
127060 I prefer mountains to beaches ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-31 776
127059 Homework ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-03-31 0
127058 Do you agree with the saying \"Money can buy happiness\" ? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-03-30 1
127057 24.Mar.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-30 3
127056 HOMRWORK ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-03-30 0
127055 Homework ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-30 607
127054 amusement park rides ¹Ú*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-30 736
127053 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-03-30 3
127052 Would you date someone introduced by a friend you met online? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-03-30 0
127051 I job do you want in the future? Why? ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-03-30 0
127050 favorite amusement park rides ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-30 864
127049 Have you been to the countryside? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-30 0
127048 Education give us most valuable gift. ÀÌ*¿õ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-30 11
127047 Writing task ¾È*Çü ¿Ï·á 2023-03-30 947
127046 Do you have any good techniques for organizing your time? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-03-30 1025
127045 What qualities do you look for in a friend? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-03-30 881

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04