¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

writing about punishment

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*½Ä
2022-11-28 1463

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

What kind of punishment have you received at school or home?
I have worst experience about punishment at middle school. It's not physical punishment, that was a mental punishment.
When I was a middle school student, my teacher was Christian who had his own office to spread the word of Jesus.
So, whenever we had a class, he didn't teach us and just shown videos about Jerusalem or made a speech why we believe Jesus Christ.
After school, He still not sent us home. We had to listen his speech for a long time.
At that time, we were so young and couldn't realize if it's right or wrong.

Do you believe in physical punishment? Explain.
I believe sometimes physical punishment is needed and effecive.
First of all, I agree that punishment should be educational and teach the student about what they did, why it's wrong.
But, during the time that they awaked, other students may be harmed again.
So, physical punishment is needed as a way to deter them.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Harry!
I like how specific you are.
Details are always appreciated.
The composition was both full and substantial.^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
I have worst experience about punishment at middle school. 
>> I have the worst experience about punishment in middle school. 
It's not physical punishment, that was a mental punishment.
>> It's not physical punishment, but a mental one.
When I was a middle school student, my teacher was Christian who had his own office to spread the word of Jesus.
>> When I was a middle school student, my teacher was a Christian who had his own office where he spread the word of Jesus.
So, whenever we had a class, he didn't teach us and just shown videos about Jerusalem or made a speech why we believe Jesus Christ.
>> So, whenever we had a class, he didn't teach us and just showed videos about Jerusalem or made a speech why we believe Jesus Christ.
After school, He still not sent us home. 
>> After school, he still didn't send us home. 
We had to listen his speech for a long time.
>> We had to listen to his speech for a long time.
At that time, we were so young and couldn't realize if it's right or wrong.
>> Correct
I believe sometimes physical punishment is needed and effecive.
>> I believe sometimes physical punishment is needed and effective.
First of all, I agree that punishment should be educational and teach the student about what they did, why it's wrong.
>> First of all, I agree that punishment should be educational and should teach the student about what they did wrong and why.
But, during the time that they awaked, other students may be harmed again.
>> However, by the time they realize their mistake, other students may be harmed again.
So, physical punishment is needed as a way to deter them.
>> Correct
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
129351 My favorite beverage ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-07-06 2036
129350 What do you think about Electronic Music Festivals like... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-07-06 1928
129349 What country do you want to visit? Why? °­*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-06 2442
129348 What food is best for summer season in your contry? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-07-06 1616
129347 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-06 2673
129346 What do you think of the Korean fashion style? Do you like it?... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-07-06 3234
129345 Difficult experiences are valuable. Do you agree or disagree? ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-07-06 1
129344 Why I want to recommend Korea to a foreigner ±è*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-07-06 2851
129343 Home work ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-07-06 3
129342 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-06 3617
129341 HOMEWORK FOR 05/08 Á¶*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-06 1
129340 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-07-06 4672
129339 HOMEWORK FOR 05/17 Á¶*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-06 2
129338 7/6 homework ÃÖ*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-06 2198
129337 What and who are your major influences for having your recent... ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-07-06 5607
129336 a sleep disorder ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-06 1
129335 About secondhand clothes ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-06 2671
129334 Handling work-related stress ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-06 3909
129333 homework essay(2023. 7. 6.) ¼­*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-07-06 3
129332 Benefits of traveling alone ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-06 1928

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04