¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

writing about punishment

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*½Ä
2022-11-28 1490

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

What kind of punishment have you received at school or home?
I have worst experience about punishment at middle school. It's not physical punishment, that was a mental punishment.
When I was a middle school student, my teacher was Christian who had his own office to spread the word of Jesus.
So, whenever we had a class, he didn't teach us and just shown videos about Jerusalem or made a speech why we believe Jesus Christ.
After school, He still not sent us home. We had to listen his speech for a long time.
At that time, we were so young and couldn't realize if it's right or wrong.

Do you believe in physical punishment? Explain.
I believe sometimes physical punishment is needed and effecive.
First of all, I agree that punishment should be educational and teach the student about what they did, why it's wrong.
But, during the time that they awaked, other students may be harmed again.
So, physical punishment is needed as a way to deter them.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Harry!
I like how specific you are.
Details are always appreciated.
The composition was both full and substantial.^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
I have worst experience about punishment at middle school. 
>> I have the worst experience about punishment in middle school. 
It's not physical punishment, that was a mental punishment.
>> It's not physical punishment, but a mental one.
When I was a middle school student, my teacher was Christian who had his own office to spread the word of Jesus.
>> When I was a middle school student, my teacher was a Christian who had his own office where he spread the word of Jesus.
So, whenever we had a class, he didn't teach us and just shown videos about Jerusalem or made a speech why we believe Jesus Christ.
>> So, whenever we had a class, he didn't teach us and just showed videos about Jerusalem or made a speech why we believe Jesus Christ.
After school, He still not sent us home. 
>> After school, he still didn't send us home. 
We had to listen his speech for a long time.
>> We had to listen to his speech for a long time.
At that time, we were so young and couldn't realize if it's right or wrong.
>> Correct
I believe sometimes physical punishment is needed and effecive.
>> I believe sometimes physical punishment is needed and effective.
First of all, I agree that punishment should be educational and teach the student about what they did, why it's wrong.
>> First of all, I agree that punishment should be educational and should teach the student about what they did wrong and why.
But, during the time that they awaked, other students may be harmed again.
>> However, by the time they realize their mistake, other students may be harmed again.
So, physical punishment is needed as a way to deter them.
>> Correct
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
129886 Homework for 05/26 ¹æ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-01 2
129885 What do you want to colle? ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-01 3060
129884 Homework ¿À*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-01 2913
129883 Why is English fluency significant for you? ¹Ú*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-01 2546
129882 best ways to avoid getting sick ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-01 2796
129881 Homework JA*UNG CHUNG ¿Ï·á 2023-08-01 5100
129880 homework Àå*¼® ¿Ï·á 2023-08-01 2564
129879 What is health care like for old and poor people in your country? ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-08-01 3080
129878 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-08-01 3910
129877 HW ¹Ú*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-01 6
129876 painting art ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-31 2901
129875 the goal of doing in Japan ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-31 2622
129874 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-31 2111
129873 When discussing a topic, do you often wander away from the main... ±¸*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-07-31 1
129872 Thank you so much, Ms. Harmony! ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-31 3
129871 You mentioned \"finding the midpoint\" during the class. What is... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-07-31 2
129870 homework 07.31 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-07-31 1655
129869 Something about my closest friend ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-07-31 1911
129868 What is the best thing about your summer vacation? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-07-31 2281
129867 What do you think the punishment for drunk driving should be? ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-07-31 3201

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04