¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

In some countries, most people prefer to rent their homes rather than buying them. Which one do you

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±¸*¿ì
2022-11-25 1140

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think it is better to buy my home. Because if we rent their homes, we can have some fight with house's host or the other people live in there. And having my own house is very happy to me and we can live any other interference. I think we can have more cost than rent house but we can live there happily, it is very good to us.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening Daisy! ^_^
Thank you for diligently answering this essay question. You truly are hard-working. 
I agree that owning your own home is better than renting one. I think this is one of the best investments you could ever have in your entire life. 
I hope you're doing great right now. 
See you again on Monday and have a happy weekend. :)
~Teacher Charry

I think it is better to buy my home. 
>> I think it is better to buy my own home. 
Because if we rent their homes, we can have some fight with house's host or the other people live in there. 
>> It's because if we rent other people's homes or apartments, we can get into fights with the home owners or other renters. 
And having my own house is very happy to me and we can live any other interference. 
>> In addition, having my own house makes me feel very happy and I can live without any interference. 
I think we can have more cost than rent house but we can live there happily, it is very good to us.
>> I think we would have to spend more in buying our own house rather than renting one but we can live in our own house happily. It is very good for us.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
123267 How\'s the weather today? Is it normal for this time of year? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-28 1788
123266 Can people change their personality if they want to? Do you know... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-28 2041
123265 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-10-28 0
123264 Use these words in sentences ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-10-28 2526
123263 They are allergic to the 21st century. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-10-28 1726
123262 What are some topics that you can\'t stand to talk about? Why? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-28 1200
123261 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-28 1305
123260 WRITING TASK: How do you carry out your busy day? ¾È*Çå ¿Ï·á 2022-10-28 1404
123259 we must ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-28 3188
123258 woman suffrage ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-28 1154
123257 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-28 0
123256 Jeju ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-28 1312
123255 What do you think is the biggest kind of whale in the ocean? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-28 1600
123254 In your opinion, which season is the most beautiful? Which... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-28 1500
123253 Describe a piece of art you like ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-10-28 2
123252 10.27.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-28 2
123251 Do you think most companies look after their staff? Why or why... Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-10-27 1466
123250 healthiest people ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-27 1340
123249 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-27 2782
123248 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-10-27 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04