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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Homework

작성자: 김*우
2022-11-24 909

회원님의 영작문

Good morning, once again.
I have a morning off today, and I am going to visit the selling boss of the new building as I told you.
I talked with the dentist friend who own the 5th floor just before.
He told me that we should insist our rights of the building in many points.
He looks a gentle man, but he tends to get angry easily, I think.
In this situation, his temper will help us to fight with the building man.
I thought the selling boss was a good man and seemed to try to help me always, However, after listening to the dentist, I totally changed my mind.
I realized that the bad guy cheated on us and took much money from us for many excuses.
So, today is the day of fight.
Meanwhile, if I am an actor, I would like to play many roles including both good and bad men.
Of course, I can play a role of doctor very well.
Also, I think I can play an average man very well, too.
Whoever I play, it will be awesome.
I am nervous, because the war time is coming.
Cross your fingers for me.
See you~

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good day, Dr. Kim!

It's very good to learn about your morning day off. Well, it is still technically a work time since you are going to a 'battle' with the marketing manager (building seller)  of the building.  Well, in arguing, you have to gather evidences but not reveal your source as this person may be in trouble. Well, by now, you have presented all of your concerns and there are compromises to be made. I just wish you the best favors. Sometimes, we have to assert our rights to things we paid very expensively to maximise the value of our hard earned money. You can manage, just keep your cool.

Similarly, when we are arguing with someone, we have to be a great actor- one who is composed and worth listening to, otherwise, we cannot get what we want. This is called the art of persuation. In acting, influencing the audience has something to do with the ability to express emotions effectively. Since you are a very humane man, this is so easy for you. A bad man role, however can be done by anyone. I can feel that soon, your first acting stinte will come, be ready.

Hence, as you can see below, all of your sentences are correct except for two. Then, heed my grammar suggestions and congratulations to you on all the correct ones. Keep up writing excellently!

Catch you later, have a great day!

-T. Donna~

Good morning, once again.
>> Correct!

I have a morning off today, and I am going to visit the selling boss of the new building as I told you.
>> Correct!

I talked with the dentist friend who own the 5th floor just before.
>> I talked with the dentist friend who owns the 5th floor.

He told me that we should insist our rights of the building in many points.
>> Correct!

He looks a gentle man, but he tends to get angry easily, I think.
>> Correct!

In this situation, his temper will help us to fight with the building man.
>> Correct!

I thought the selling boss was a good man and seemed to try to help me always, However, after listening to the dentist, I totally changed my mind.
>> Correct!
Or: I thought that the marketing boss was a good man and seemed to try to help me always, however, after listening to the dentist, I totally changed my mind.

I realized that the bad guy cheated on us and took much money from us for many excuses.
>> Correct!

So, today is the day of fight.
>> Correct!

Meanwhile, if I am an actor, I would like to play many roles including both good and bad men.
>> Correct!

Of course, I can play a role of doctor very well.
>> Correct!

Also, I think I can play an average man very well, too.
>> Correct!

Whoever I play, it will be awesome.
>> Correct!

I am nervous, because the war time is coming.
>> Correct!

Cross your fingers for me.
>> Correct!

See you~
>> Correct!
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