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Why do you think child abuse is an overlooked crime in some countries?

작성자: 김*문
2022-11-23 1530

회원님의 영작문

First of all, most people consider children belong to their parents. Whether parents punish physically, the majority think it's their love. Also, they don't have much attention to others because they are busy making a living. So, I child abuse is overlooked especially in poverty nations. Living a day is more urgent than caring their kids and protecting children's right. Moreover, it is very hard to classify the punishment for education and child abuse with current laws. Actually, when someone accuse parents with child abuse, it is more likely to solve nothing. Even though the police office visits the house to check that there are problems, most officers just go back just giving some warnings. I agree that the child's right improved high than last few years. But the awareness that caring child is that house' jurisdiction makes child leave alone. The law should be strengthened and attention to our neighbor kids is essential. I hope that every kid live happy and healthy.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Thank you for this Mary. What about you? Do you think you had a happy childhood?

First of all, most people consider children belong to their parents. 
>>> correct
>>> OR: First of all, most people would think children belong to their parents.   
Whether parents punish physically, the majority think it's their love. 
>>>  correct  
Also, they don't have much attention to others because they are busy making a living. 
>>> OR: Also, they don't give much attention to others because they are busy making a living.  
So, I child abuse is overlooked especially in poverty nations. 
>>>  So, I think child abuse is overlooked especially in poor nations. 
>>> OR: So, I think child abuse is overlooked especially in nations under poverty.  
Living a day is more urgent than caring their kids and protecting children's right. 
>>> OR: Living each day is more a priority than caring for or protecting their children's right.  
Moreover, it is very hard to classify the punishment for education and child abuse with current laws. 
>>>  correct 
Actually, when someone accuse parents with child abuse, it is more likely to solve nothing. 
>>>  correct 
Even though the police office visits the house to check that there are problems, most officers just go back just giving some warnings. 
>>>  OR: Even though the police officer visits the house to check and see that there are problems, most officers just go back only giving some warnings.  
I agree that the child's right improved high than last few years.
 >>> I agree that the child's right has improved higher than the last few years.  
But the awareness that caring child is that house' jurisdiction makes child leave alone. 
>>> But the awareness that caring for a child is that house' jurisdiction makes the child live alone.    
The law should be strengthened and attention to our neighbor kids is essential. 
>>>   correct
I hope that every kid live happy and healthy.
>>>   I hope that every kid lives happy and healthy.
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